EP 22 | From Coworkers/Friendship to Romance -- Brenda and Nancy Share how it all Started, Part 2

In Episode 22 of Deep Divin', we’re continuing the love story from last week and diving even deeper—this time, it’s all about finding and balancing the masculine and feminine energies in our relationship. Spoiler alert: it’s a game-changer.

We get real about how intentional and devoted you have to be to make a relationship not just work, but thrive. It’s not just about date nights (although those help!); it’s about creating a space where your partner feels seen, safe, and supported so they can fully open up and bloom.

From Brenda’s grounded, nurturing energy to Nancy’s fiery devotion, we unpack how embracing both masculine and feminine energies has transformed our connection. Whether you’re trying to understand your own energy or bring more harmony to your relationship, this episode is full of heart, laughs, and real talk about the work it takes to build something beautiful.

Ready to deepen your connection with your partner—or yourself? Tune in now! And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and subscribe to our YouTube channel for more relationship insights, behind-the-scenes moments, and all the fun vibes.

Keywords: Masculine and Feminine Energy, Relationship Balance, Safe Space in Relationships, Devoted Partnership, Deep Connections, Relationship Growth, Intentional Love, Emotional Support, Thriving Love

Hashtags: #MasculineAndFeminine #RelationshipGoals #DeepConnections #LatinaPodcast #SafeSpaceInLove #IntentionalRelationships #ThrivingTogether #SoulfulLove #LatinaHealing #LoveAndDevotion

Transcript

EP 22 | From Coworkers/Friendship to Romance -- Brenda and Nancy Share how it all Started, Part 2

Hey guys, welcome to the Deep Dive In podcast with Nancy and Brenda. Welcome back. Welcome back as different. Yeah that is different. Dang babe you're on episode 22 and you think you could change it up on pizza? Yeah, I felt like it was already played out. Oh, and we're back. Maybe you could just. Mhm. Um welcome back guys. This is part two. Mhm. Part two of our relationship or how our relationship started. Um we kind of like wanted to take it back for, take it back to kind of go over that and the things that we've learned um together. Yeah. And with each other. Um, so we left it off at you moved to Vegas. I moved to Vegas. So we were talking about if you if you haven't heard episode or the previous episode, um, go back and listen to it. We talk about lighthearted, um, like, talking to each other, you know, and I was married. Just a little tap bits, you know, of different craziness. Yeah, not craziness, but very interesting conversation. Um, so we talk about that and we talked about we were long distance for a bit for about two years. Mhm. Um, so. We want to get into how it was for us when we moved in together. Yeah, because we want to say so. Like context here for long for the long distance relationship. Part of our relationship. Mhm. Um, I had mentioned like there was some, you know, hurdles and stuff, frustrations because you obviously you want to be with the person in the honeymoon stage. Like I can't wait to see you babe. I love you so much blah blah blah. Right. And um, and but we but we made it work. Yeah. Made it work. And we had so much fun. Mhm. And we wanted to say like that's kind of giving you context here of like this was the long distance relationship. And then now we're going to get into. Um I moved I moved out to Las Vegas. Um, so I had my own place that I was renting. And then I was like, well, we're gonna need a house because I had a condo, right? So then we rented a house together. Yeah. And I remember FaceTiming you during that process sometimes when you went to go see the house. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then I. So then I felt like. Whatever, babe. You. Yeah, whatever. Like, as long as it has a room for me. Yeah. So let me pick the one you moved in. By the way, that was a big ass motherfucking house. I kind of liked it, but it was big. Well, I, I liked it. I liked the layout, and I liked the house. Yeah. Um, I just didn't like the neighborhood. Yeah. Or the fact that I was living amongst, like, people next door that, like, saw every bit of thing really close together here. Yeah. So I just didn't like that. But. But obviously we were inside the whole time, but. Yeah. Um, but the house is really great. Mhm. And it was huge. Mhm. Over 2000ft². Yeah. It was ridiculous. Um how we kept up cleaning that house I don't know I know we did a better job there. Yeah I feel for real. Isn't that crazy? We did a better job cleaning this big ass house. And we can't keep up with this little ass house over here. Yeah. So, um, so once you think it's a carpet. Uh, no, I don't know where. And we had the three dogs or. No, we still had she and Benji. Yeah. So I don't know. Did we have a clean? Oh, we had a cleaning lady. Then it was. No. Oh, no. I cancelled her when I moved. Yeah. You had a cleaning? I did at the. At the condo. Yep. Because I'm not gonna clean, bro. I'll clean. But if I could pay somebody to do it, to take that off of my list for me, clear out that time, then I would do that. And. Yeah. So anyway, we gotta figure that out. Yeah. Um, not sure what's happening. So I moved to August of 2022. Yeah, right. Um, we rented this house and we moved in together, and, um, not only did we live together, not only did we start living together, you and I, as a couple for the first time, but we also incorporated two little kids. Yes, yes. So you had not fully experienced. I had. So first of all, I never been in a relationship before where there was kids involved. Yeah. Um, so that's brand new to me, right. And in my life. Yeah. Um, so we get it. Just want to make that very clear here for everyone who's listening. Never in my life have a relationship with the children. The whole relationship was new to us in its entirety while the children part was in New to You? Well, the lesbian part was new to me. But it didn't seem like it. And I'm just so. Um, okay. So I. Okay. So what was it? I guess I'm gonna. You're gonna start. You're gonna. How you felt when I moved. Um, tell us how you felt when we first moved in together. So when we first moved in together, I felt really excited. I felt very like. Oh, yes. Like, you know, this is the next, another, the next step in our relationship. Right? And I was like, oh, my God, I was so excited. Right? And then, like the girl, you and the girls are going to bond and everything's going to be great. And uh, it was I think it was the opposite, uh, hundred percent, because I felt like a lot of things, like arguments or like scenarios would come up between us because, well, we never lived together and we were learning how to maneuver through this new life, um, together at the same time. And so when you moved in, I didn't. I would act different with you when the girls were around because I didn't know how to be. Yeah. When they were around. And, um, it took me a long time to learn, like, well, you just be how you are normally. Right? Uh, but I think it was also like a combination of still having beliefs like that. They would look at me and you a certain way, um, because I know the beliefs that they believe in, in their religion. Right. And so and I also felt like they were being fed stuff from other people on their minds. And so they were being fed false information at the same time. So I also felt like, oh my gosh, well, I have to like act a different way so that, you know, that's true. Right? And so it was that whole thing. And then uh, it was also, um, I that's that's all I can remember for now, how I was feeling at the beginning. Mhm. Yeah. About you. Um, well there was a, there was quite a bit of things as well. I mean obviously one of them being that like. King. Here I am in this, um, like. Well, it was it was the new relationship because we never lived together. Yeah. And I had I had previously stayed at the condo with you, um, for a week. I would stay on and off. Right, right. But it's not the same as, like, oh, shit. Like, now we're sharing 100% of the a house and expenses and finances, and it's like everything. Responsibilities. Um, for me, it was definitely a shock to my nervous system. In one way. Your face. It was definitely a big, like, wave of, like, different emotions and different like, um, well, because I was, I was beforehand, I was so used to doing my own thing. Yeah, right. Like I was used to doing my own thing. And, um, now I'm like, now I'm in this relationship not only just as, like two individuals that could still do things together, but now we have to worry about, like, the kids schedule, um, you know. When we have them. Like we're restricted to that. Mhm. Restricted to things that like can be done because of the schedule and picking them up or beat them being dropped off like all of that. Yeah. So it was definitely a shock for me in the beginning. Yeah. Um I definitely like question my existence again. Again. Why am I in a really good shape. Um like, well I mean like you, it's just natural. Yeah. I feel like it's just natural when you encounter change or you change, your whole life changes. Um, because I went from I was staying at my mom's at that time, so I went from, like, being there and, like, my mom would clean a lot of things. Yeah. Um, I would just work and then, like, do my thing. Yeah. And then coming over here and now I have. Now I have just like I'm just talking from my perspective. Right. So now I have like a whole house, you know, like whole as a whole, whole as, like expenses to pay. Um, which I was prepared to. Yeah. But it was still like, okay, well, now I can't have that much fun. Yeah. Now that little fun budget just went out the fucking window. Uh, so it was that, um, it was that, like, shift in my life. Um, and then also me and you usually spend. So prior to me moving out here. Me and you would spend a lot of time just you and I. Yeah. It wasn't a lot of time or leading up to me moving over here. I didn't have a lot of time to get with the girl. Like, be with the girls or do things with the girls. Start doing things with the girls. Mhm. For some reason or another we just liked it. Like you just wanted to have fun. Yeah. You're like, oh let me fucking pretend I don't have these little kids. So we could go have fun wherever we want to go for a bit. And that's how it was. Yeah, that is how it was. So when we were in a long distance relationship and I would be over here, or you would go, uh, or we would go somewhere, it would just be you and I. Mhm. Um, so the children weren't incorporated into our relationship really until I moved out here. Yeah. That's true. And so that's what I, that's what I feel made it more of a um. A challenge maybe. Yeah. To a to start like building that relationship when you already live together. Yeah. I'm like Nixon. These little girls see me as this fucking L.A. lesbian. Why do you. Why do you have short hair? Yeah. Stare at me like, why do you have boobs? Like, what are you literally, as I'm fucking sitting there watching TV, they would ask you these questions. They would. Yeah. Yeah, they would ask me like, what the fuck are you? Are you a boy? Literally every other day. Yeah. Or every week. And I would wait, are you a boy? And then now they know I live here. Yeah. He was mad. Still, sometimes, though, the youngest one is like, why aren't you at your mom's or something? Yeah. Right. Yes. Why aren't you in California then? But she. But but then, um, when I just moved in or when I just moved out here, they would ask me these questions so they didn't know who I was. Really? Um, there wasn't a relationship built with them or just. Or just thrown into this scenario where we live together and they don't even know if I was a girl or a boy. Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm cracking up. Okay. The heater came on. It's getting hot. So it was fucking crazy. Yeah. So all of that, like put together and then you were. You are a big family person. I'm a huge family person. So that was so it was like. So it was like sometimes feeling homesick. Yeah. Because I was missing out, you know, on certain things that I couldn't be there or just being out there with my family because I like, I hang out with them all the time. So it was like, um, yeah, it was being homesick. Well, quote unquote. Right. Yeah. Quote unquote. Because I didn't feel like I was home. Yeah. Yet. Yeah. Now I do, obviously. Uhhuh. But at that moment when I moved in or when I moved over here and we all just started living together, I didn't feel like I was home. Yeah. I'm just like. I feel like I was in survivor, and I was just trying to survive these wild apes, this crazy situation I just put myself in. We love to do that to ourselves. Huh? Really? Like, if you think about it. Yeah. Hey, Nancy. Um, like a year before, right? Like or before we started talking, like, hey, two years from now, you're going to end up moving to Vegas a different state, rent a house with this girl and her two girls, and you guys are just gonna have to learn, like, how to live together. Mind you, you're going to share custody of the two girls with the ex-husband that she cheated on you with. What would you say to that? Oh, I'm being like, fuck no. What are you talking about? I am good. Yeah, I'm at peace. What are you saying to me? So anyway. Yeah, it was, it was a it was a crazy shock, but. Yeah, um, it took a lot of work. Yeah, it took a lot of work, a lot of intentionality, a lot. And I think that what helped, um, what what helped for me was always reminding, like, always understanding, like how the communication piece of it, like, I've always told you this, like, communication is big for me. Like I need you to tell me, like, if I like, if I don't know whatever I did or didn't do. Like, I need you to tell me if you need me to take out the trash and it's bothering you that I'm not like, I need you to tell me, like, take out the fucking trash because you haven't done shit all day and it's bothering me. And that's the thing that has been the most difficult thing for me to develop throughout my relationship. Because coming from a relationship that was very passive and where things were not communicated, that's not something that was practiced. Right. And so it's like, uh, it's it's learning how to put that into practice. And so that is still developing right now for me. Um, I know one of the things that I that was difficult for me was, uh, um, I have always in relationships in general, like the romantic relationships, I have always been the most masculine energy one, the one with the most masculine energy. So in that video, you just been with guys, even though I've only been with guys. Yeah. So can you explain that real quick though? Like. Like the masculine. Like what does that mean. So. And I think people will understand this. Like in the Latino culture, most women are in a masculine energy. They are the women that like mundane. Okay. Oh they say, oh, she wears the pants right in de Los hombres on Monday. Aha. Yeah, yeah. So that is a woman in her masculine energy. A woman that is in her feminine energy is the one that just like, allows the partner to take care of them and like, um, just allowing life to flow easily to them and just be nurturing and like, you know, just like be a mom. Yeah. Loving, caring, um, being creative about creativeness. And and the male energy is very like structure, safety and providing. Right. And the woman, the, the feminine energy is very like. Yeah, receiving and flowing and creating and all of that, um, which all individuals carry male, masculine and feminine energy doesn't matter if you're a woman or male like so men carry feminine, and masculine men carry both, whether they want to accept that or not. Yeah. Um, and so, so in my relationships and growing up in my family, most of the women are masculine energy. Um, and it's funny because I remember when we started dating, you had said that somebody mentioned to you like, oh, shoot, you're dating a Salvadorian. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Because it's known for your craziness. Yeah, because the women are in the masculine energy. Yeah. Even in El Salvador, for the most part. Yeah. And so, um, one of the things that was very difficult for me in our relationship was understanding the balance between both energies with our relationship, because obviously we're both women. Right? And you also were in your masculine. So it was like two dudes, like being like, no, like I got you right, or like, well, ego driven. Ego driven. Yes. At the beginning. So it's like we would both be like, well, if you're not going to talk to me, I'm not gonna talk to you. Yeah. Um, butting heads. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Which makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it happened because we were both just on this ego trip. Trip. Because we were in our masculine. Yeah, because we weren't in our softer side. Like our feminine side of, like, love Me. Yeah, exactly. So that was one of the most difficult things for me to learn how to balance in our relationship. How did you learn how to balance that? Um, well, I listened to a lot of podcasts about masculine and feminine energy to just learn about it. Um, and then obviously all of them talk about masculine and feminine with a regular female and male couple. There's not one that I have heard where it's about a lesbian couple and how to balance the energies out, and it's very hard. So I think we should go. Like it's very. So at the beginning, also to like when you I think you were the one that like kind of started introducing, introducing me to the concept of masculine and feminine. And um, I think it was earlier this year when I did the, when we did ceremony or. No, no, no, no, no, it was before that. Yeah, it was before. It was when uh, in March or. No, February. It was in February when the roles in our household changed. And in February, like, I was like, starting my own thing. I were like, with work, doing my own thing and, um, and so and then I was also like, trying to or not trying to, but I was also taking the time for myself. Okay. Yeah. And I feel that that's when the shift changed. That's when it, the shift changed in me or that my feminine started to come out. Um, and then you're like, yeah, you're getting into your feminine. Yeah. And I'm like, what I'm talking about. Yeah. I'm like, I am a feminine. I don't look like one, but I am. I do not know if I'm a girl or a boy. I'm like, I am a fan. Maybe not a fan, but like, I'm a female. Um, yeah. Um, and I remember, like, you started, you introduced me to that concept. Yeah. And then at the same time, like, I started listening to the podcast as well and learning about the feminine and masculine side of you. Yeah. Um, and then realize also that I've always been living in my masculine. Yeah. Because it's like this independent boss girl hustler mentality that's just focus on it, providing the survival. I mean, yeah, all of those things. Right? Yeah. And it's definitely the energy that I was that I have been in all of my life. Yeah. Same for me. Yeah. And so we united and our relationship right. But it heads. Egos budded, and then we learned about masculine and feminine energies and we're like, oh shit, we are not really in our feminine. And, um, and I want to I want to also say that people's masculine or feminine side doesn't just come out, it only comes out if they feel safe enough to do that with the partner that they're with. And so and I think that's very important to say I. Yeah. And is there is there any way that you could like go more into that. Um, like what the safe. The safe space. Like what? What justifies a safe place or a safe? So for me personally, um, I, I felt safe enough to be in a more feminine energy with you because. So what that means is that you felt like you felt safe enough to be more vulnerable. Yes. To be taken care of, to be loved and like, nurtured and soft, more soft and more vulnerable. Where the where the top two things is. I felt safe with you to or I feel safe with you to be vulnerable and soft. Because I know that you will like, listen to me and you will allow me to be that. Yeah. And you actually open up the door for me to be and say vulnerable things and. And I think that comes with practice because 100%, I've let you know how it's been difficult for me to be vulnerable and to be soft and to be to feel like I, I have felt supported and nurtured in any relationship, like it has been difficult for me. And so the fact that I shared that with you, and now you know that the way you act as a partner, where you come in and you actually like the way you respond or say some things, you say it, I imagine with those things in mind, right? Because, you know, like, oh, well, she has a hard time being vulnerable. Like, let me make sure that I can provide a space for her to be vulnerable and open up. Right. And vice versa. And so like, um, I think it's important to, to remember that, that sometimes women, they can't be that and they feel like they can't say that to their partner because their partner is just going to like, throw it, like just dismiss it or just be like, get angry or whatever the case may be. Yeah. You know, it's funny, like, um, with this concept, like I'm thinking, like I'm thinking about, like, different women in my life, or, you know, that I've known. Yeah. And there is so many women just living in that masculine space. Um, because it feels like they like they feel like they need to, like, protect themselves severe, um, or be in survival for themselves. Um, for whatever reason, you know, in their relationship or or also because they're a mother. Yeah. And they're like, no, what? I need to be the provider. Yes. Or I just need to make sure that my children are safe. Well, that is a whole other thing in itself. It has been proven that when women give birth, they go into they go more into their masculine energy because they now have this sense of protecting and providing for their children. Yeah. So if you're a mom, then that I feel like that masculine energy is even doubled because now you have two little kids that you also kind of think for, right? And you're like, try to protect. And that's even something that I've shared with you before, right. Like um, and so, so it's like it's truly just I feel, um, in, in our relationship back to what I was saying is that's been one of the toughest things for me, is learning how to balance that and being like allowing you to be in your masculine energy. Yeah, I think it. Yeah. So yeah, like I feel I feel like, um, once you're made of aware of the, of this concept, I mean, to me it just makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Um, it. It may be difficult to understand that as a woman you have a masculine and feminine side, or as a man you have a masculine and feminine side, because that's not a concept that we have grown up with in our society. It's just something. It's honestly something like it's true and there's history about it. If you go research it, there's history about it. Um, but since it's not been something that we learned growing up, we don't know about it. So like for me, for example, at 39 years ago, when not only did I learn how to pray, but at 39 years, I'm learning that there is this masculine and feminine side of me, and I've been mostly living in my masculine in my whole life because of the role, or maybe just because of the surviving mechanisms I had to encounter being gay. Yeah, that's true. And it's like, I like I and obviously more because and also because I'm more of a like, dyke ish gay like lesbian. Yeah. Than a more girly lesbian. A lot of people think like, oh, if you look girly, then you're feminine. Like you're feminine. Yeah. Like, no no no no no, that's not what that means. Yeah. No, it's more so like your energy. The energy. Yeah. And I really I should put it off. You're more of the feminine one. Yeah. And nobody will ever believe that. I am a feminist in our relationship. I am more feminine than you are, for sure, 100%. Yeah. Your little Salvadorian masculinity has not diminished completely. But you're getting there. Um. But it's true. And it's funny because if people know, like people that know me, yeah, they're or that know us, they're they never guess that. No. Because it's like, what do you mean? And she's the feminine one. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. I'm more emotion even though it's, it's kind of leveling itself out. Emotional one. Yeah, yeah. Not gonna lie. But that's because I wasn't in a safe space to be emotional. Hmm. Well, you're getting there. Yay! Um, but anyway, so what I was saying is, like, it's not until you fully understand or not fully understand, but accept that there is this masculine and feminine side to you. I feel that you're able to kind of like, um. Explore the other side. Yeah. Um, because I know for me, like, realizing this this year, literally. Yes. 2024. It has been this year. Yeah. Um, like establishing that or connecting to that, um, concept and, and believing like there is obviously a feminine and masculine to me. Um, let me go explore or where am I first of all. Um, like. All right. So I established that I've been living my life as a masculine most of my life in survival, hustle, whatever. Right. And I've never been one to be taken care of. Um, so as a, like, as a woman, being in a woman, being in a lesbian relationship, I've always been more of the mass. I've always been the masculine. Yeah. Which means that, oh, I'm going to provide for my partner. Right. I'm gonna, you know, do, like, protect my partner. I'm gonna like. So that's been the energy that I've been in my whole adult life. And not until this year where things shifted, that I realized, or that I was also able to go into my feminine side. Yes. And be taken care of. Yeah. And like, catered to. And you were like, you also provided me that safe space to be vulnerable and, and kind of like connect with that side of me. Mhm. That I didn't even know existed. Yeah. Like I don't I'm like what is this. I'm like, wait, so I could be like, you could take care of me? Yeah, I like somebody could take care of like that. Somebody could take care of me. What do you mean? That's so funny. But it's funny. It's funny but true. Yeah, yeah, but it's true. And I never knew that this existed. And it feels fucking good, honestly, to have both. Yeah, it feels good to be, like, in your masculine when you're, like, dedicated to something and you're focused on a goal and you're focused on achieving something and you just strive to like, go for it. Yep. And it's also amazing to give yourself 20 minutes a day to go for a walk and journal and listen to the birds and like, like it's a balance. Yeah. Like that's literally a feminine masculine balance. Yeah. And then once you're done with your, you know, meditation and, you know, cleaning up or whatever. All right, let's get back on focus and let's go for the goals that you want to achieve. Yes. And then go for it. Yeah. It's it's been and I might I would like to add that from my point of view, my POV, I recently learned actually, I learned that this year. But POV meant that. Remember you told me, oh, this year I think, wow, so 21 wrong. I don't know about you guys, but 2024 has been fucking life changing for me. It really has. I can't wait for 2025 man. Like I'm a whole ass feminine. Yeah. So my POV in regards to that, it has been a beautiful sight to see that come out of you. And it had it has been like, um, I don't know. I don't know how else to say other than it's been a beautiful thing to see and to experience firsthand. Yeah. And I could see the same with you. Like seeing your softer side come out, even though you get shy and you don't want to talk about it, seeing your softer side come out or you being softer with yourself even. Yeah. Um, has been pretty cool to see. And I know it's obviously just like a work in progress. Yeah, but I think that there's been a lot of, a lot of of that, like. Work that has been done. Mhm. And realization of like or embodiment of both those sides of us. Um, because it's honestly like very important. Yes. Not just for the relationship. All the stuff you work, it's very fucking is for ourselves. Yeah. The day like like it's very fucking important I feel to be in touch with these two. These two things. Yeah. And I don't know why people don't like. Why is it a thing like, you know, but they should be fucking taught every, like, everywhere, but whatever. Yeah. Um, I feel it's very important. It's very important for you to be okay, to give yourself space when you need it, and for you to be okay, to fucking be a workaholic and go get your shit done when you want to. Mhm. And know how to balance the two. Yeah. And that's individually but also be okay with your partner on like balancing the two. Mhm. So for example when it comes to finances for both of us like now we're in a place where we both want to provide. Yeah. And we both want to like make money to make sure that we're good and we're both like on our missions and our goals and whatever. Like what we're working on. Yeah. And then we also both take the time to cater to each other. Mhm. Like, you know, you buy me flowers I make sure that you like if I'm making dinner or we're cooking breakfast together, um, go on a walk together like we, we both kind of try to level each other out. Yeah. In, in the two things. Yeah. We do like when you don't feel like cleaning. Hey, I'll take care of it when I don't feel like. Theni like you got it. Um, when we both don't feel like cleaning. Fuck it. We'll doing some other fucking day. Like. Like it's it's like it's really that that like that balance scene. Yeah, I feel it. We've got into it is from fucking chaos. When I just moved, when I barely moved here. Kind of just to give you context guys of like the difference when I first moved out here and we live together, um, we were like, we were fighting all the time. I don't know why the fuck you did what you did. Like, why the fuck didn't you wash the dishes? You know, like, there is so many things that I know that I would get frustrated on. Yeah, because I wasn't understanding. They're communicating like, who the fuck you were? Yeah. Or there was, like, unspoken expectations. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, well, I didn't know you wanted me to clean the dishes. Like, I clean them usually the next day or something like that. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So it was a lot of unspoken ness, like you said. And it was a lot of learning how to truly, unconditionally love each other and not have those expectations. And we automatically put on people without realizing it. Yes. Yeah. Because I know that for me it's like, why? Like why is she doing this? Or why is she doing that? Right. Um, and now I know, like and now like kind of the difference with everything I've learned, it's like, will you fucking do it yourself? Yeah. Like I just if there's something to be done, then I'll just do it myself. Like, I don't have any expectation on you to clean to whatever. Like I don't have any expectation from you at all. Um, and we communicate whatever it is, we do want to make sure we get done. Yeah. Um, but that's I think the difference, like, now, like, I don't expect you to do anything. Yeah. Yeah, that's a game changer. Yeah, it really is. But it's also like it's instead of being in your masculine when you're just like, um, wanting to do everything right or having to do everything because I also feel like there's certain chores that were made for the guy or that haven't been established or for whatever reason, have been made for the guy, like taking out the trash. Yeah, yeah. Who does that? A guy, yeah, but the masculine. Yeah, right. And then there's washing dishes. Yeah. Who does that? The feminine. The woman. The. Yeah. The woman. Yeah. And for some reason there's just been these different establishing of role society playing where it's just like. No like if something if you lived by yourself. Mhm. Who the fuck is going to take out the trash. Exactly. It doesn't matter if your guy or girl like it's you just fucking do it. There was something I read that said if you're in a relationship in your household, like do the things in your home as if you were still single. Yeah. Which is cleaning and all of that stuff. And that's it. Exactly. And I'm like, yeah, that's exactly true. Exactly what I just said. Yeah, that's exactly the same thing. Um, and it's so true. Like, so that because there is no expectations, there's no more arguing it, like there's no more like petty little like disagreements. There's no like any of that because, you know, like, we're just we're just going to do we're individually going to be doing the things that need to be done around the house. Yeah. And also we, you know. Um, we keep in mind of the other one. Like, if I know you asked me, like, is there anything you want to do for yourself? And I ask you, like, do you need to do anything for yourself? Yeah. Like we both are communicating to each other these things or asking each other. We're good, you know. And then like that also is a big help. Yeah. I feel um, but then that's also taking away any of those roles. Yes. You know, it's just like coexisting together. Together in this, like, peaceful, harmonious way. Yeah. And letting it flow, um, without any of these, um, expectations or judgments or you have to do this because you're more girly, or you do this because you're more like none of that stuff now, um, which has helped our relationship so much. Yeah. And I think this year for sure has been like ten times like, like our relationship has advanced to such a beautiful place. I feel within the span of this year, more so than any other year. I agree with that. Just because of the work that we've done on like with for each other. Yeah, I've been very expensive in my opinion too. And a um, and, and, and I feel like this is only the beginning. Yeah. Yes. Because I feel like, I don't know, I it it only goes deeper from here. Yeah. It's how I feel. Yeah. And so, uh, I know because we both individually feel that we're starting our own new lives. Yeah, like, I know I'm starting a brand new life. I know you are starting a brand new life. And because of that, we feel like we're starting to brand new relationship. Yeah, exactly. Which is pretty amazing. Um, but yeah, guys, I would I would say to explore that for yourselves if you never have explored the whole feminine and masculine side of things. Just give yourself some time to even like sit with that concept. Like how are you based on how it was described or how you're understanding it? Ask yourself the questions of like, am I my masculine in my and my feminine? Like what is my masculine feminine like? Ask yourself these questions to get familiarized with those two things. Or maybe not even familiarize, but to even let that come out of you. Yeah, and I know we expanded a lot on like, women and how it feels to have the masculine and feminine energy with women. Um, and for men, it's more the feminine energy. With men it's more so like allowing yourself to open up to that partner that you have. Yeah. Allowing yourself to share what you're feeling with that partner and allowing yourself to just. Like speak your heart. That is what the feminine looks like in a man. And so and those are all very like strange concepts to a man, especially in our culture. Yeah. Like men are taught to hold everything in and to not let their emotions out and to not cry and to man up. Yep. And so the opposite of that is what your feminine energy is. Yeah. And so how has said explore those two and how they feel for you. And they're going to feel weird. Yeah. Um, I mean like really okay. So for a guy like a Mexican guy, right. Like, as I, I know obviously a lot of them. Yes. Um, if I talk to some of them, like about emotions and feelings and like, hey, how are you feeling like, or why is this making you feel this way? Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I should focus. Super. Yeah. Like like bro, you have feeling. Yeah. Like it's very, very, very closed off. Yeah. I mean obviously like, it's it's a big blockage. Yeah. It's a big blockage in our culture for sure. Um, and maybe in other ones too. But obviously we can only speak for our country. No. Yeah. But I know that it's a big thing. So. Because it's very, like you said, it's very hard for men to show their emotions. Um. And I don't see, like, it's so crazy to me because it's like, how? Like, how did we get here? You know who started? Yeah. Like, I mean, I guess I could go back and be like, Aztec warrior, blah, blah, blah. It's all part of the greater plan. But it's so crazy to me, like how we got here, because it showing your emotions. Emotions are a big part of our, our lives in general as a human being. So for a man to not be able to show their emotions because they've been taught not to, it's just like all of those emotions have been built up in their lives or inside of them. And just in case you didn't know those emotions that get built up, your nervous system stores them. And then if your nervous system stores them and you don't move them out of your body, that's how you get sick. Yeah. And you get cancer, you get diseases, you get all of these things, these sicknesses that happen in your body. And it's it is because of all of the shit that your nervous system and your body remembers and holds on to. And, um, yeah. So explore that, guys. Yeah, I mean, I would I mean, it's never too late. Yeah. No, it's never too late to explore it. Um, like, what's up if you have a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is. So we would definitely, um, would love to recommend like, different podcasts and we listen to that, um, help us understand the whole concept, but I think it's a very big thing. Um, but it's helped us a lot in our relationship. Yeah. Um, from where we started to where we are now, it's a leap I couldn't even imagine. Like, I couldn't even if you would tell me two years ago that we would be where we are now. Yeah, I'd be like, no, you're trippin. Because there is a lot of times we were going to break up. Yeah, there was a because we could just we were like, how the fuck do we fix this? Yeah. How do we like, live together. Yeah. And we were both feeling the same way and thinking the same way because we were also both in our masculine, egotistical fucking selves. Yeah. Um, the difference, though, I feel, is we try keep we try ending this, but it doesn't end. The difference, I feel, is that, um, we both know that we are two individuals that are doing the work. Yes. And that's what makes the difference. Yeah. Because if you're with somebody that just doesn't want to do anything like. Yeah, there's nothing there. Yeah. I mean, I'm so sure, like if you're, if you're the woman in a relationship with the husband as a husband and you listen to this podcast, let's just say, and you're like, babe D have you ever heard of this feminine and masculine, you know, and then you start doing the work to like finding or, you know, to start like seeing what you're where you are at, um, yourself. And then you try to get your husband or your partner or whatever to do the same, and they're just not even like accepting the concept or understanding it, or even wanting to really, um, like, it's not like there's you're going to be in a different place than your partner is going to be. Yeah. So yes, it definitely makes a difference for I think with anything. Yeah. I think with any growth it makes a difference. Obviously if you have a partner that is willing to grow with you. Yeah, 100%. So thank you for this. This is a great conversation. It really was um, I'm happy that my voice is finally like kind of 100% there. Yeah, it's a lot better than the first one. But thank you guys so much for listening in. Thanks, guys. Bye once again, guys, thank you for listening. If you gain something or feel inclined to share this episode, please do so. Go to our Instagram Deep Dive In podcast that's dive in the Ivy in and connect with us there. Comment, share, post. We appreciate the support so much and we will catch you on the next one.