EP 26 | We're Having the Hard Conversations NOW!

This week, we dive into a conversation that’s long overdue—sexual abuse trauma and its impact on mental health and daily life. Inspired by real-life examples, we highlight how prevalent this topic is, yet how often it remains the elephant in the room, especially in Latino culture. Why don’t we talk about it? Why do so many fear bringing it up to their families or communities? It’s time to break the silence and create spaces where these hard conversations can happen.

Brenda shares her upcoming Breathwork for Trauma Release event, designed to help participants release deeply held emotions in a safe and supportive environment. If you’re in Las Vegas, join us on January 21, 2025, from 6–8 PM PST, for this transformative in-person experience. Facilitators are trauma-informed and ready to support your healing journey. Register here.

This episode is a call to action for all of us to start having those conversations—with family, friends, or anyone who makes you feel truly heard. Let’s rewrite the narrative and support each other in healing.

Chapters

• 0:06 Intro

Transcript

 Hey guys! Welcome to the Deep Dive In podcast with Nancy and Brenda. And we are back. Back to back to back to back baby 2025. This I don't know about this year. Honestly like I don't know. I'm feeling. I'm feeling optimistic about my like me and my like in person personally. But on it like I, I literally today I was like I it's been overwhelming for me to be on like social media and stuff. Uh, and today, like with all the stories, uh, you know, the, the fires and people losing, like, all of their stuff and like all of those videos that are coming out on TikTok and like, Instagram, right? Um, I caught myself today kind of like feeling very emotional at one point. And I'm like, like, no, like I have to get off of this. Yeah. Um, so I got off of it because I was like, I can't, like, I can't be doing it because it's it does affect like, even though you're not there, like if it affects you. Yes. And it's crazy, like, because you hate to see people, like, lose everything. And, uh, there's one story and I don't want to obviously get too much into it, but there's one story of this guy that he I think he was at work or something when everything started, like all of these people. A lot of these people were at work. Oh, wow. When, like, the evacuation notice started coming. Yeah. So all of their dogs and their pets. Like they were at their house. So. Yeah. So this guy was one of them. Like he was. And he was saying, like he was trying to get his house, like, already five days. Um, because his dog was there. And he finally went back. He was able to go back to the house, and the dog was alive. Oh. And he came. And the guy was like. Like, oh, he was so excited. Like, he was just so happy like that. His dog was alive. Yeah. And he was crying like. It was crazy. Like, just to see a grown ass man, like, crying for his little Pomeranian. Oh, like, you know, like, it's just hard. Like heartbreaking. Yeah. Um, but, yeah, 2025 is definitely getting coming off to a good start here. Yeah. It. Yeah. Like you said, for you personally. Like, I feel the same way personally. Yeah. Like I'm doing great personally. You know, but then I see all this stuff going on in the world and I'm like, oh yeah, let me unplug too. Yeah. Because I mean, honestly, like. So the way I thought about it, um, was like, well, I, I know, like, I'm not just gonna ignore the fact that this is happening, right? It's just I, it's a I know that it's affecting me emotionally and that it doesn't put me in a high vibration place. Right? Like, because you see all of the things that are happening. So you're not it doesn't put you in a high vibration place. So you're like, well, I'm not there to help. And then my low vibration and feeling sad also isn't helping. Mhm. So it's like okay like I need to at least like you know send love and send, you know, high vibrations and hopefully you know, the people get um, the help that they need. Like with, I know there's a lot of people like putting in donations like GoFundMe and all of that. So all you can do is. Essentially like pray and and send the good vibes to to everyone that's that's suffering. But yeah, if you do feel yourself getting emotional and honestly like it, it does affect you. Like if you're just like on TikTok and stuff and or on Instagram, like watching these reels and like the news del mundo del Mundo. Yeah. Like, just give yourself like re b an awareness of how you're feeling and give yourself some grace. Like get off of social media. Yeah. Stop watching the news if you need to, because that's also your mental health. Yeah. Like that's also, you know, like I said, like you just sometimes we don't realize how much the like these disasters or these things affect us, especially something that's big that's being covered and it's like everywhere, right? And it's also important that we not only, you know, unplug if you if we catch ourselves feeling a certain way, but also make sure to release what you're feeling. Yeah. Right. Like a lot of people will be like, oh, I don't want to watch that anymore. And like you said, like, they're just like, want to forget about it or something? Yeah, but no, it's there to also allow you to be able to release it and cry it out or, like, yell it out or rage it out, you know, in whatever way in a in a safe way. Not like don't take it out on somebody, right? You know it. Don't punch your kid like I. I told you the other day, not too long ago, like I was crying because everything just felt like a lot. Yeah. And and I remember just like, like going to bed, and I was just, like, crying because it was just. It just felt like a lot. And and like you said, like I wasn't there. And we talked about like, man, if I had, like, all this money, like, this is what I'd be doing. Yeah. And yeah. And all I could do was donate to people that were on the ground out there and send those high prayers up to them. Right? Yeah. So yeah, I did allow myself to cry. I did do some movement and to move that energy out of the body. So if you also feel the same way, like make sure you also take the time to release those emotions out because you don't want them to stay inside of you. Yeah yeah yeah. That's that's true. Like you can't like if you feel those emotions, you can't just like sit there and like. Yeah. And then like keep going and living your life and then you're like, Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what happened to me yesterday is like, just out of nowhere. I just started, like, feeling very emotional. And I didn't know why. Yeah. But then I'm like, oh, like. I'm holding in all of these emotions that I'm like, capturing from seeing all of these tragedies, you know? So it's a thing like it definitely happens. And I don't I don't want to be in that low vibration because I know that, again, it's it doesn't benefit anything. Like it doesn't like. Para qué. Yeah. You know, I know this is definitely not like what we plan to talk about, but here we are. Yeah. With everything that's going on 20, 25, like everything that's going on, like, obviously like our hearts are obviously with everyone that's impacted. And we're obviously going to continue to hold this, this place, right, this space for everybody that's impacted. And that's really all we can do. So there's there's a topic of conversation that came up for us during I think it was during the holiday. Yeah. Which is crazy because it came up during the holidays. And so really what we wanted to talk about today is actually a topic of conversation that came up for us. It's gonna get deep, guys. So starting out deep yeah yeah yeah I mean this is honestly you know what's funny is that I was listening to Sunday Service with agape this past Sunday, and it wasn't Michael Beckwith that was on. I don't it was another reverend that, like, stepped in for him and she was talking about having a heart, the hard conversations or asking the hard questions like she was talking about in our society. Like we don't talk, we don't have the hard conversations anymore or we don't ask the hard questions anymore. And specifically, she was talking about like having the hard questions as far as, like, um, the topic that we're talking about, that we're talking about, like with women. Um, she was talking about directly to women in regards to these things that happened to us. And then nobody talks about and a lot of women just live in silence with their hurt. Mhm. Um, and you know, sometimes, sometimes you just like act out out of nowhere and then everybody's like, what the fuck just happened to you? And then it's just all of these trauma like trauma responses that you never dealt with. And then you're just like, what? Yeah. So I heard her talking about this in her, um. And her. I don't know what you call it. Like sermon in her sermon. Yeah. Este en el servicio del Domingo. I heard her talking about this. Like how we don't we don't have these hard conversations anymore. They're kind of like, they come out, um, here and there when you see it on the news and the celebrity gets caught or whatever, right? But the daily, the daily person or the daily conversation is in half, and sometimes even in a group of women, of friends, of friends. Yeah. Like, it's not like something that anybody wants to talk about unless somebody brings it up. Right? Yeah. So we had this conversation during, um, was it Christmas? Christmas time? It was Christmas time. Um, it was a group of friends that we had over for Christmas, and we did, like, a gift exchange. So we were just talking. We were just, like, talking around the table, the whatever. And, um, the topic of being sexually, sexually abused is it is that. Yeah. I have no idea. But people nowadays, they say, um, I'm, I'm gonna I'm gonna continue seeing sexually abused. Yeah. It just sounds better in the context. Yeah. The conversation. Yeah. Um, so the topic of conversation came in about being sexually abused. And there was, I think, 7 or 8 of us around the table. And I think everyone. Yeah, almost or I think it was everyone. Yeah, yeah. So everyone and mind you, um, like this is a group of friends. There's a group of friends that, like, we, uh, got introduced that we just started getting introduced to. Right. I've known them. Yeah, you know them forever. Um, but I guess the topic had never came up. Really? Or. It's not something that they talked about within themselves. Right? So you and I, we've talked about this on the show being sexually abused. You share your story. Yeah. On what happened to you. Um, and I think we both were, like, shocked. Yeah. That it was out of eight. It was eight out of eight. Yeah. So and I think, I mean, I'm sure statistically wise around like the country or 100% of the women or. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And not just women also dudes. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just shocking to me, the fact that we started having the conversation and each one started opening up right about the situations that had happened for them. And, and I remember making the comment at some point in the conversation, I was like. Dude, this is stuff that like, we don't talk about amongst our families, right? But yet it's probably happened to almost every woman and probably some of the guys in our families. But nobody knows because nobody wants to talk about it. I, for whatever reason, I don't know why they don't want to talk about it. Right, right. And, um, but it's a it's like it's a it's such a relief, though, to be like to open up that or ask that question and open up the space, I should say. Yeah. For somebody to share that. Right. Because if I were to have received that opportunity from my when anybody in my family when you were younger, when I was younger, yeah, I would have loved that. I would even like now. I would have loved that. You know, for somebody to, to, to be like, oh, so what happened? Yeah. How did you feel about it? Like, how do you feel about it now? That in itself can be such a healing thing for somebody. Mhm. Even for somebody that has like um or even there's even times where like people know that it happened to the person, but then they just don't want to say anything else about it. Yeah. Because they don't want to ruin their relationships with other people. And and that's okay. Like you have to go off and say yes to the person. But just like in the mere sense of opening it up within your own immediate family. Yeah, is a huge ass thing. Yeah. Yeah, it is huge. And it's crazy to me that we realize then like how everyone that we were around, every woman that we were around in that moment had been sexually abused right by whoever it was. Yeah. And it honestly like it makes you feel some type of way. Like for me, I think now I'm getting emotional and it it makes you think. It makes you feel like like fuck, you know, like it's just sad. It's sad. And at the same time, I feel like it's like you don't know. Like you don't know what to do. Like, you don't know what to say. Like. Because it's true. Like, it's hard to just say. Say it. Especially if it's a it was a family member, right? Right. You don't know what to say because you don't want to be the reason why. You're like something in your family happens and people stop talking to each other. Or who knows if they're gonna stop talking to each other. Sometimes they go against the person. That's right. Like the victim, you know? Um, but it makes me feel it made me feel really sad because there's honestly, um. Like if you if you don't have that safe space. If, if somebody doesn't have that safe space. And they went through something like that. That means that they're living their life in this pain, you know. And then they're living. They're like they're chugging along, doing life things and getting married, having kids or whatever their life is. Um, but they're doing all of that in, in a, like, in pain. Yeah. They're doing it because, you know, society tells them that. Right. Like, they still continue to live their life, but they have all of these. All of this pain inside of them. And you, just like sometimes you just don't know. Like, they don't know. Like what to do. Like they don't know. Because not everybody these conversations are not had. Mhm. So like it's, it's it's very hard to. It's very hard to start like even healing from abuse or something that happened to you when you were little. Mhm. Because you haven't even told anybody, right? Or there's sometimes people that. Now therapy is a thing. Yeah. Or people go to therapy and they share these things. And I'm glad that that's there as an outlet for a lot of people to share that with a therapist. Right. Yeah. Um, to hold that space for them. And then though, what I have noticed is that even though they are going to therapy, they are still not over the event that happened. And I and I don't want to say the term over, you know, very lightly that it was just for a lack of better term. But I find that like people, even people that have gone and talked about it to a therapist, um, they still hold on to all of these emotions and these feelings in their body, and they feel like they're not even themselves. Yeah. They feel they don't feel like themselves at all. Still. Yeah. And they they're a lot of the times what people don't realize is that those feelings and those emotions cause us to become a different person. Yeah. Somebody who we're really not. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. I feel like that happened to me. In what way? I feel like I was a lot of my life. I was disassociated with who I really was. Mhm. Especially being girly, like. Um. After like, a certain time in my life, like I or even during like my teenage years and stuff, I would wear more like, baggy clothes or, like, tomboyish. Yeah. You know, and I really never, never, like, really knew who I was, you know, like, I would wear, like some at one point, like, I would be emo or whatever. And then like the next day I would be dressed up, you know, like girly and stuff like, um, and then I'll just bounce back and forth and never really, like, never really identifying with or never really relating to, like who I really am or what I really like, like or what like I feel like I, I try to change, yeah, myself, as much as I could to see where I would feel comfortable, but then I wouldn't really feel comfortable in my own skin. So it's like I was just trying to put a Band-Aid on. On the problem. Really? Yeah. In dealing with, you know, whatever trauma and stuff. Right? Yeah, yeah. And I, I can I can completely understand that. You know, and we've even observed it with somebody we know where like, they completely feel like, um, when we last spoke with them, like, they're like, I don't even like to be touched. Yeah. Right. And it was like. But, dude, like, you deserve to. Yeah. And you deserve to feel loved with a partner, and you deserve to, like, have a passionate intimacy and all of these things. But because people don't know where to go, they don't know what to do with what they're carrying. Their their, their life, their current reality is dictated by those stuck emotions and feelings. And and again, like, you don't know if it happens to you, like if it happened to you. I, I feel like I, I didn't say anything till like a couple years ago and I'm about to be 40. Yeah. And I feel because of that. Um. Like the majority of my life, I lived in that. Not not because of that, but it played part like it definitely played part on the identity part. Mhm. For me. Mhm. Would you say. Um because. Because this is how I personally like see it. And you can tell me how you if it like felt the same for you is would you say that because of you know what happened for you that it kind of shifted your like how do I say it. Um, like it caused you to not want to dress a certain way or look a certain way in order to not attract a certain attention from males, for example. Right. 100%. And I feel like that happens to a lot of women 100% specifically, like I think it was when I was 18 or 19, like around that age. And I started going out more like to clubs or whatever. Right. I think during that time, like I would dress girly, you know, like whatever, like I would dress girly. And if I was at that time, like with my partner. Like guys would. They're just. They would just say the stupidest things. They would try to hit on me. Like, they'll try to, like, with no respect whatsoever to our relationship. Like, uh, they wouldn't do that for a heterosexual, right? Couple for sure. You know, so then I feel like because of that, it made me start dressing or like, yeah, start more masculine. It made me start dressing, maybe subconsciously because I just, like, transitioned to it, like gradually I feel. But it definitely was it definitely played a part. Yeah. Because I felt I felt triggered. Okay. When a guy would be like trying to be all up on me. Yeah, I felt triggered by it. And I'm like, dude, get off of me. Like, what the. You know. Yeah. Um, and that actually made me or played a part in me, like, changing the way I, I dressed. Mhm. Because of that. Yeah. And then. Because of that, like I would, I would say that it did in changing the way I dress like it did. Kind of like obviously stop the attention because the guys are not going to go after fucking dyke looking girl. Yeah. As much as a girly girl, right? But they would still come after my girlfriend at the time, like so it's like, yeah, it was still a lose lose situation at the time. Um, I don't feel it's really like that much now, but I don't know. I'm not in the clubbing scene, so I can't believe you just said that. Yeah, like let me. I'm not in the club. Club? You know? And that also leads me to say. Because when you you made a comment right now where it made me think, you know, of all of the women that are out here that are like, fuck men, like men are nasty and all this stuff, like they completely like, hate men. Yeah. And, um, and I feel like a lot of that comes from the hurt women that something has happened to them by a male, and they were never able to, like, release that. Right. And now we have a lot of women that are like, fuck them and blah, blah, blah, right? And I, I can understand like why why they would feel like that at the same time. Right. But the point that I'm trying to get across here is that at one point you have to find the space or the people for you to let go of that, for you to let it out. Yeah. For you to release all the emotion and all the pain and all the anger that comes with that. Yeah. Because the moment that you do, your life will shift. Mhm. And yeah. Like do you, do you ever think of, like you shared what happened to you. Like for me it's like I, I feel like I have let go and I've done some work in, in what happened. But for some reason or another it like. Very often. Does it pop into my head? Oh, really? Yeah. Like the visuals and stuff. Like it pops into my head randomly on a date, like, almost on a daily basis. Wow. Yeah, that doesn't happen to me. I'm trying to think like, no, it it doesn't happen to me. And, um, what I had was more like of a hatred. Mhm. It's more of like an anger and a hatred towards the person and also towards the fact towards like kind of like my parents. Yeah. Um, it was, it was more of like an anger which I don't have it anymore. But for me it was more of that because I was so little. And I just felt like, I'm like, you were supposed to protect me. Like you, you're my parents. You're my protectors. But you didn't. Yeah. So it was more of that. That's funny, because I didn't know my parents were supposed to. Oh, wow. Your brother was supposed to protect you, right? No, like I like. That's funny that you say that. Yeah. Like that. You're like that. You think like. Oh, like you're supposed to protect me. Like I don't think I ever thought of that. I never, I never thought of my parents in that way. Oh, wow. The girls even think of that. That's crazy. Like Tori says that she's like, what, mom? Like, who's gonna protect us? Great. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. I don't think I ever said, like, I don't even. I don't think I ever said that. Or like, oh, my parents are like, they were there. They were supposed to protect me. I don't think I ever said that in my life or even thought of them in that manner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like I, I feel like I didn't even think of my parents like, as provided, like even though they provide it for me or whatever. But that's weird. Oh, that's actually weird that you mentioned that because it made me think, like, wait, do I think of my parents? Like they're supposed to protect me? And I'm like, no, I've never thought about that before. Oh, well, I never thought of them that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Oh yeah. And and that. So for me it was more of that type of feeling. Right. It was. Yeah. Out of like the flashback. But obviously I mean I, I see that as like obviously there's still things there. Right. You know, and I from what I've learned and stuff, I know it even affects, it affects us in our life. Like even in our like sex life. Yeah. It affects us in that area. It affects us in how we see ourselves, our self-esteem. It affects us in almost all areas of our life. Yeah. You know, like one question like that, I, I asked, I've asked myself is like, because to me this is how I really know if, if I have, you know, overcome that situation that happened for me is do I feel open to receiving intimacy from my partner? Oh, like complete like do do I give complete surrender to my partner? Right. Yeah. And like, I see that as, like a way to measure how if if I've overcome that, like, whatever answer you feel from asking yourself that or. Yeah. Because I mean, I've also read about like, you know, how a woman is in the bedroom says a lot about her. Yeah. Like if she is very open and very like surrendered and very like in, in, in a the best way to say like very into herself as well during Like intimacy. Yeah, that says a lot about the woman. And so that is something that I use personally as like a measuring stick to find out where I am personally. Yeah. And I know that sexual trauma can cause a lot of havoc on women in the bedroom. And so that is like, I, I know not just from the bedroom stuff, but also I know from just the way that I feel about it. And when the topic comes up again that it's something that I have overcome. Yeah. Yeah. Like you don't feel any triggered or like. No. And it's you when we're having the conversation even right now, like you don't feel any type of way. No. And I honestly don't feel anything like towards the person either. Or towards my parents anymore. Yeah. Um, that I used to feel before. Yeah. Because, you know, obviously, you know, we've done a lot of work through plant medicine and on all of these things that we do, and a lot of those things that we use are things that have helped me process this situation. Yeah. Because it doesn't happen over like in one time you decide to like, meditate or whatever. Yeah. I feel. Do you feel like. Do you feel like talking about it here on the podcast? Allowed you was part of, like, the letting go. Uh, yeah, I feel that that helped. I feel like it helped you to. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't know, I. Felt it as like a like. It's not just you. It's not. It's crazy because it like, you, you kind of feel like it's not just you in your mind living with it. It's like you, you release it and and and you talk about it. And even though you don't know, like the people that are gonna listen to it or hear it or whatever, like in the moment of releasing it and talking about it, it's kind of like just putting it out there and you're no longer living in that, right? Yeah. By yourself. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I'm not by myself and I, and I put it out there and I know that I, I also believe that every that whatever happens for us like our story. Yeah. Whatever happens to us in our life, that is what we call our story. Right? And I feel very strongly that whatever our story is, our story can be a medicine for somebody else, even if it's just one person in this world. So I feel very strongly about that. And so when I shared it on the podcast, not only was it. In hopes that it would. It would help one person, but it also at the same time healed me. Yeah. By doing so. Yeah. And I think a lot of people fail to realize that by sharing their story, it heals them. Yeah. Like by you sharing whatever happened for you to somebody else. It not only helps them, but it also helps you. And, um, and I think, like like I just said, like, people forget that. Well, yeah, because, I mean, in the society that we grew up in, it's like, no diga nada. Like, don't say anything. Yeah. Like, there's wasn't talked about, you know, like, I know if anything happened like in my mom's generation. Like if anything happened in the generation, like nobody talked about it, right? Nobody said anything or whatever. Like they just whispered, you know, in in here and there to each other sometimes or whatever. But it wasn't really a topic of conversation when we knew, like, some shit was happening. Like so-and-so was beating up so-and-so. Yeah. Like they were in abusive relationship and everybody just fucking stayed and, like, stayed looking at her with the fucking black eye. You know, and I'm just talking in general, like, it's the. I'm sure this has happened. Yeah, but that was that's the society that we live in. And I know because I recognize I remember recognizing that as a child. Uh, yeah. Like, oh, like we don't say anything. Like I remember saying that to myself, like, oh, I shouldn't say anything because I was always a loud mouth. Yeah. Like my mom. I got in trouble with my mom so many times because, you know, like, my aunt would call and then she'd be like, go on. Like, let me talk to your mom or whatever. And my mom's like, no, like, tell her I'm not here, right? And then I'll be like, oh, she says she's not here. My mom would beat the shit out of me. Um, but anyway, like, we we just, like, in her generation, I know. Yeah, I know in my generation, it was kind of the same way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not until now that maybe, you know, we're having more and more open conversations about shit that happened to us. But when I was younger, like, we wouldn't talk about shit either. Like, we wouldn't talk about these things. No, um, like, we wouldn't say anything. Like I said, like, I didn't say anything about. And and even then, I didn't even say like. It's only 1 or 2 people that know. Well, now, like everybody knows, but. But like in my family, they know. You don't know the details. I never shared the details. Right. But, like, nobody knows because I never shared. Exactly. And because I felt guilty. Because I felt like, well, if I say something like, I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna ruin the fact, like I'm gonna ruin this relationship or that relationship, or it's going to be a big thing. Like, yeah, I, I minimized my emotions and my feelings for everybody else. Yeah. And that played a part of being a people pleaser. That played a part of like caring. Like always caring about what people thought or always caring how people like, if everybody was good, you know? Yeah. Like it played a part in that and that I've always been that way. Like I walk into a room and for some reason or like for supper for that reason, I like, I make sure everybody's good, you know. Yeah. And and it played like it just played into that and. And it sucks. I, I don't I feel I know that I've, I know that I've healed from it like the, the situation and the event. I think it's been more so the living with it by myself for so long that they hadn't allowed me to fully like, let it go, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, it it it's at this point it's like I'm over it. Yeah. You know, like I'm okay. Let the whole world know. Yeah. Like at this, at this point, I'm over it, like, I don't whatever. Like I'm over, like, um, what happened? And like, I, I know that there's still, there's still some things that I feel emotionally more so because, um, because I never was able to say something. Ah, it was more so, like the I had to keep my mouth shut. Yeah, yeah, because of because of that. Because, like, oh, we don't talk about this shit. Yeah. Like, what am I gonna say? Like, oh, it's been such a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um. Yeah. The only reason my mom found out was because my sister told her. And your sister found out because you said it here. Yeah, yeah. And, uh. And then. But but the crazy thing is, my mom still hasn't told me anything about it. Yeah, so she knows about it, but she doesn't have the guts to like. Yes. Because, you see, it's still that, like, how do I have this conversation, exactly? Yeah, but I mean, I know that there's just a lot of feelings towards it. Like, there's a lot of feelings I feel when it comes to family, too. Like, um, I don't know, I could imagine, like, you know, people feel guilty for not taking care of you. Yes, as they should have, like you said they should. Your parents. Yeah. Like, you know, my parents were supposed to protect me and stuff, but, I mean, it's because at the same time, like, you, like, parents don't know. You think you know somebody? Yeah. And you fucking don't. Right. And it. And it sucks because it it could be still like. I mean, all of this shit is still happening now. Yeah. I didn't just stop overnight. Yeah, yeah. Like it's our generation. Like a lot of the a lot of the people that we know, a lot of women that we know. Um. And I say again, and it's even. I can't even imagine how it is for a man, right? Like for a guy to be like, oh, like I was sexually abused. Yeah. Like, I couldn't fucking imagine that because of the society structure. Like. Right. So demeaning. Yes. And like, but being a little bit. Yes. Like. No, dude, that's not what this is about. Like, right. Like there's a, there's an especially in the Hispanic community. Like we we wear my sister's we're machismo. We're not going to talk about that. Right. And who knows. There's just been a like who knows if somebody, for example, that has had, you know, drug addiction or alcohol or whatever, addiction, like who knows if they're just using that as a Band-Aid for something that happened to them? Yeah. Because they can't say shit about it. Exactly. To numb it all the way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine, like, I know it's hard for women and stuff, but I feel like I. I feel like at least like women are more prone to and, like, hold that space for each other as opposed to men. Yeah. Like, men truly just live with it. Yeah. Forever and ever. Yeah. And that's crazy to me. Yeah, and unless they go to, like, a therapist or something. Right. But, like, you know, but it's but it's still like in our culture, in our in our society. It's very rare for a Hispanic man to go to therapy even now. Yeah. Like, it's very rare. And and a lot of people sometimes, you know, they sit and ask themselves like, well, why did, like, my dad get sick all of a sudden and like, why did he get all of this all of a sudden? And we don't know. What if something happened to him like that that caused him to suppress all this stuff into his body, which then caused all this shit? As far as diseases go? Yeah. Yeah, but people don't stop and think about that. No. Right. Yeah. And, um. And it's like we can we can do better. Yeah, we could have the fucking conversations. Yeah. This is the time to have the hard conversations. This is the time where we all allow each other the space, and we all give each other the space and hold that space for each other to share and let go. If you know, let go of what we need to let go of. Mhm. Um and obviously like I mean it's not like saying oh go tell your neighbor, you know, that you were fucking sexually abused or whatever. But I mean like you're confidants, you're, you're a group of friends or your best friend or your mom or your dad is your best friend. Like it's going to be uncomfortable. Yes. It's an uncomfortable conversation. You it's just going to be uncomfortable. But at the end of the conversation, you're just gonna feel like a weight lifted off of your shoulders. Yeah. For sure. But I feel like it's time for us to stop living with it. Right. Like you're not alone? No. If something happened to you, like, you're not alone. And I think that's the most important part of everything. Like all of this, this conversation that we're having, I feel I think, like the, the biggest part is like. Making it as loud as possible to say like to everybody that you're. If something happened to you, you're sexually abused when you were a kid. Um. Or or as you if you were older, if you were sexually abused at any point in your in your life, like you're not alone. You don't have to live with it by yourself. Yeah. There's so many different groups. If you don't, if you, you know, don't really want to say it out loud to family friends, like there's so many different groups, there's so many different places that you could go to actually let it out. Shit. Contact me or Brenda, like we'll have the fucking conversation with you, but it's time for us to let it out and let it out. Don't be ashamed of it. I know it's easier said than done. Believe me, believe me, I know it's easier said than done. Um, I'm still trying to let it out, so. I could understand. I could understand how anybody is feeling. That's just like, oh fuck. Like, what am I going to say? What are people going to think? Like, what is this going to do? Like, why, why would I want to cause any hardship to anybody? Like it's already been so it was so long ago, like all of these things that we say to ourselves. Yeah. To try to justify, to try to justify why we shouldn't say something. Yeah, but fuck that. Like it's time to have these conversations. Um, because. Because having, having a dinner party and having eight women at a fucking table and knowing that every one of them was fucking sexually abused as a child or whenever in their life, like, that's fucking crazy. Mhm. And if you have kids, take care of your fucking kids please. I don't care like what you gotta do. But you gotta make sure I don't care. Like if it's a brother or a sister like you just have to be careful. Yeah. Be careful with who you live. Your leave your kids with. Yep. Position. Protect them. Yeah. You are their protector. You are their protector. They see you as their god and nothing else. Yeah. And I feel as an adult, you're the protector of children no matter what. Yeah. Yeah. Like, whoever it is. Yeah. Whoever it is, like, as an adult, we're supposed to protect our children, not fucking abuse them. Right. Um, so, you know, I, I feel like, uh, unfortunately, it's like the abuse the abuser abusing because he, like. Like they got abused. Yeah. Um, I feel like that's what happens. Yeah. I feel like a lot of times that's what happens. Like the abuser is abusing because they got abused. Yeah. Cause they don't know how else to release it. Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't have anybody to talk to. Exactly. We're we're going through the we're we're going through these things that we talk about you guys together. Yeah. Like, it's like Nancy just said. Like she's still trying to figure it out herself. Right. And and I promise, like, we're here, if you feel like you can't go to anybody, you know, or anything like that. Like we're here for you. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it just takes that, like, open door policy. I'm wide open. Yeah. It's just like the I don't know, but it's just like open door policy, like, um, but no, I mean, I guess it's just to spark the, you know, put the seed. Yeah. Plant the seed. Because I feel like, um, I feel I feel like it's just. It's just sad, you know, that so many people go through this, um, and they don't. They can never talk about it because it's not talked about. Yeah, normally, regularly or whatever. Right. And if you do decide to like, take that step to share it with somebody, let us know how it went. Like, we would love to hear how the how it went for you, like what happened or um, like how did you feel after just like talking about it with somebody. Right. And um, because we, we like, we want to know about you guys. And just like, if it is something that you did, like, tell us how it went. Yeah, it's an interactive podcast space. Um, but yeah, definitely. I think it's a community. Right, like community thing. And, um, like I said, it's just time for us to have these conversations that we just don't talk about and we live with, uh, there's you never know. Like, you never know what anybody's going through, right? And a lot of times, it's like these things that happen to us when we were younger, the things that were going through, um, in that present moment, you never know what anybody's going through in any given moment. And even somebody that's smiling at you, maybe dying inside. Yeah. And which is crazy. So you never know. So that's why we're not here to judge. That's how we're not here to do anything, really. And and just be be nice. Be a nice person to each other. Right. Um, let's hold space for each other. Let's heal together. Yeah. The more people that could come together and heal and, you know, hold space for each other, I think the better the world would be. Yes. And I want to add you with this conversation right now, reminded me, uh, if you're in Las Vegas. We have a I'm doing a breathwork event. It is called a psychedelic breathwork and a sound bath journey. And in that event, what we're going to be diving into is our inner child. Yeah. So it goes perfect with this topic. If it's something that you haven't been able to fully release and let go of, then come to this session. It's a two hour session, and we go through a breathing technique that allows you to release a lot of crap that you're holding on to. Yeah. And then at the end, you get the the frequencies of the sound bath, um, to kind of put it all together. But these events all like, I like to tell people that it's pretty much like 20 years worth of therapy in one session. Yeah. Because it can bring up so many things for you because we're, like, trauma informed. So we know how to like, you know, be with you when these things come up for you. And it allows you the opportunity to really, like, go in there. Yeah. And deep dive and see what. Yeah. Deep dive and see what comes up and see what comes up. Yeah. And these are the types of things that we have the opportunity to do to be able to let go and release these things as well. Yeah. Um, so if you're in Las Vegas, it's on January 21st, uh, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. and you can register on the website, which is, uh, w w w dot. I think it's route to yoga.com/breathwork. Yeah. And you can register on there and you can get a ticket and freaking come change your life. Um, or you can also go to my Instagram that goes with Brenda and you'll see the on my link. It has like the registration thing there too. But I'm gonna actually start doing a lot of these. Um, starting off. Yeah. After February, because I'll be trained as well. Yeah. Uh, I'm going to start doing them maybe specifically for our podcast listeners in Vegas. Right. That'd be cool. That's cool. Something. But, um, but it's just that support, right? Like we're all about. I mean, at one point, I know that I want to become a breathwork facilitator as well. Like, we're all about, um, trying to bring more of this healing. Like just trying to bring more love to to the world. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Through helping people, you know, maneuver through or, um, get through the traumas that we've encountered in this life. Yeah. So, yeah, I think I think that's it. I think that's it. Yeah. Oh, man. That was some great story. I feel like. Ah. Guys, this is a deep one, I know. Um, I, I we honestly just both felt that we had to have the conversation. So, um, please let us know, like, reach out, let us know. Um, if you guys listen to this on iTunes, make sure to if you can do us a favor and do, um, a rating on there. Um, that would help us a lot as well. We're trying to definitely push this and promote our podcast and kind of expanded. Yeah. Um, our goal is to just, you know, come together as a community. And the more people that we expand this to, the more people we have collectively, um, to share, right in this healing with. So thank you guys so much. Bye bye. Once again, guys, thank you for listening. If you gain something or feel inclined to share this episode, please do so. Go to our Instagram. Deep Dive in podcast. That's dive in, dive in and connect with us there. Comment. Share. Post. We appreciate the support so much and we will catch you on the next one.