EP 35 | Are You Waiting for Someone to Come and Save You?

Alright, let’s get into it—who are you waiting for to come save you? Because here’s the truth: you’re the medicine. You always have been. 

In this episode, we dive deep into our experiences with plant medicine and how it cracked us wide open to a whole new level of awareness. Nancz and Brenda each share their journeys with two different types of plant medicines and the one massive realization they had—we are our own saviors. No guru, no external validation, no knight in shining armor needed.

Our bodies? They hold ancient wisdom. The divine? It’s already inside of us. But so many people stay stuck, waiting for someone or something to rescue them—when they’ve had the key all along. 

This episode will have you questioning how much power you’re actually giving away and remind you to start tuning inward instead of looking outward. Time to reclaim your magic. 🌀💫

Tap in and let’s expand together. 

plant medicine journey, spiritual awakening, self-healing, inner wisdom, personal power, consciousness expansion, divine connection, ancient wisdom, healing through plants, you are the medicine, self-empowerment, spiritual growth, awakening your power, high-vibe living, reclaim your magic, queer latina podcast

Transcript

EP 35 | Are You Waiting for Someone to Come and Save You?

Hey guys! Welcome to the Deep Dive In podcast with Nancy and Brenda. And we are back, baby. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Did you take care of the whole intro, babe? Those are cute. Hi, guys. Hey, guys. Um, the dogs think we're talking to them. I know, I always, like, want to have them in here, but then I don't. And then here we are. What's up? My God. You know what's up? A lot is up. Honestly? Really? Yeah. For me, the new year is in March, when the world starts to wake up in our hemisphere. When we have spring. That is the new year. Oh, you went late. There, there. So. Oh, you mean like spring? Like because of the spring? Like we're getting into spring? Yeah. Like in our hemisphere. We're getting into spring. And, um, back in ancient ways. Spring was the new year. Yeah. Not January. Yeah. So we celebrate here because it's winter time, and it's like we're hibernating. Yeah. And we're, like, wanting to be in our home cozy because it's cold outside. Exactly. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. And and there's nothing growing in the winter time, really. Everything's getting ready to grow in the springtime. Yeah. Come out. Yeah. All the trees are freaking dead. And then you just see palmettos. Yeah. So true. That's why I say I feel like there's a lot for me. There's a lot for you. Because you feel like it's kind of like your New Year's. Like, yeah, it's like, oh, shoot. Like you have your goal or what do you mean? Yeah. Like during winter time, I spent a lot of time, um, there was a lot of time which will lead into our topic for today. There was a lot of things that have been coming up for me transpiring that have allowed me to grow a lot as a person. Yeah. And that have allowed me better insight as to what I want to do with my company, my business, and what I want to do with personal goals. Right. And and our company and. Yes. And so there's been that's that's where I'm at. It's like, okay, it's time for the seeds to begin sprouting. Right. And so I'm really excited. Ooh, yeah, I'm excited too. I mean, it makes sense that you're like how it should like March is a new year because it's true. Like, um, like we have a tree that's in the side of the house. Yeah. That was dead. And then the other day, um, I, I saw it like I looked at it and it had, like, all kinds of leaves already in it. Like it was green. Yeah. And I'm like, Holy shit. Like it happened overnight. Almost. Yeah. And I'm like, oh shit, I'm cute. All right. Yeah. So it makes sense. It's like, you know, the vibration of the universe. Yes. Or of this Earth. Earth. Gaia is like waking up from hibernation. Yeah. So. So our bodies. So our bodies. That's why when you see the sun, I are like, oh, I just want to be outside. Yeah, yeah. It is a different feeling. Yeah. When the sun starts coming out and I mean the sun's been out, but like, you know what I mean? Is it, it's just a different feeling like, um. And I always. And I remember always feeling this. Yeah. Like during or March or April, like spring break, for example. Um, I remember feeling like the difference. Yeah. Because it's no longer like that cold, cold. And then you start, you know, feeling that warm breeze. So because I lived in California, so it was different here. But yeah, you start feeling the fear. No. We have two good months okay. That's true. Like maybe. March and April? No, April and May. Half of me. Yeah, half of me. And then it eat. Don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is a whole other topic for another day about the calendar and how it was man made to control human. So how we should actually have 13 months. Yeah. In order for us to be able to follow the moons. Yeah. I was reading a post about it the other day. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, wow, this makes so much sense. Yeah, because every month would be 28 days. And then it follows the moon cycles as our body should. Women's bodies. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Anyway that's crazy. I mean, what if it just makes a lot of sense? If you start looking into it and you start following those things, your body starts feeling differently. You start feeling different as well. Like when you're following the moon. Like when you're. I think when you're in awareness of it. Yeah. Like when you're in awareness of like the moon cycle and it's like a full moon and like all of these things that happen Make your you're aware that you're feeling a certain way because it's obviously correlating with the cycles of where we are. Right. The full moon and stuff. Yeah. Um, but it's very interesting though, because there's a lot of things. Like one of the things that I wanted to talk about today was essentially our journey with plant medicine. And it kind of like correlates with the nature of the Earth that we have. Like everything literally was made for a specific reason. Yeah. You know, like the moon and the sun, like they all have a purpose in our lives. Yes. And everything was correlated. Like, everything was just, like, made perfectly. Yeah. If we understand it. Yeah. Because obviously we haven't. Like, I know I was never taught about astrology or like, you know. Yeah. The most, the most have the most I was taught about astrology was um. Los Tres Reyes. I started to learn my strategy from Walter Mercado. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't watch him. I loved him so much. I mean, I my mom watched, like, when he was coming out, like, my mom watched him, but I never paid attention. I'm talking about because he was so eccentric. You know, like, out there. Yeah. And so I would, I would I loved that. Yeah. Oh, who's this guy? You know. Really. And you would listen to what he was saying. Yeah. And I would remember, like, my mom would be like, Leo. And I'm like, okay. So I would listen. Yeah. And then like, my mom is into that. And so she, she like, she's like, you're so Virgo. Right? And she's like, you know what? So then she'd like, go off and be like all happy or whatever. And so it was the funniest thing, but it was really cool because like, my mom would tell me little things and then I would listen to Walter Mercado and then I would like he became a huge icon. Yeah, for Latinos. But like in our home, it was a thing. Like we would watch him and we would take what he had to say, like to the heart. Oh, wow. Yeah. And you see, I'm the opposite. We would watch it. Yeah. Like it would be on, um. But I don't like my mom. Didn't really. You know. Yeah, like she did. I actually, I don't know okay. I don't know if she did, but she's never expressed anything like oh meet up soon Gemini. Yeah. You know, how do you say that in Spanish. Okay. Many many, many, many minutes. Wow. I know like, this is the first time I ever, I ever asked, how do you say Gemini in Spanish? That's crazy. But yeah, like my mom, my mom didn't I? She never expressed like any like, oh, like, listen to what he's saying or whatever, right. Um, but we did have it on. Okay. And so that's probably the most I learned. Astrologer like, you know, um, in school, like, you start learning about the constellations. Oh, yeah. So you have, like, Big Dipper, Little Dipper, and then they'll have you go outside and, like, look at them. Ah. Um, so like that. Okay. Not the meaning of, like, all of the things you know. Um, but you're right that like the earth has. Or like everything that has been created. The earth knows what we need. Yeah. And I and I think we also forget that we are an extension of that as well. Just like how you said, like everything was made perfectly and is made perfectly. As far as nature goes, we are an extension of that. We're just in human bodies. Yeah. So like, I think, you know, people find like horses or magical dogs or magical cats or magical, but it's because they carry the same essence that we carry. And I think people forget that, um, you know, sometimes they think like, if humans would talk, we would probably be more magical. Yes. It's like then we wouldn't say stupid shit or like, our opinions or hateful things or whatever, and we would just be doing the things that we had to. Yeah. And then like, communicate with each other by telekinesis or like we are sure our energy or vibration, you know, like, just like people that are born like death, like they have their their other senses are more heightened. Exactly. And they could communicate and and feel the person's energy more because of it. Yeah. And I think about that sometimes the things that Nancy thinks about, like, I wonder how it would be if we didn't talk like it would honestly probably be really awesome because we would probably be at a higher state of consciousness, probably because we wouldn't have to hear other people's stupid shit. Yeah. Or whatever. Um, but yeah, like everything. So I feel like everything's made perfectly. Yeah. If you really, um, start being in tune with. Um, the earth and nature. That's why I like grounding, for example. Like grounding. I feel so much better sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed or whatever. I feel so much better after going to for a walk and like, sit and on the grass and, like, let my feet to the grass. Yeah, I feel so much better. Yeah, guys, because walking regulates your nervous system. So whenever you get in a fight, you feel stressed out before you need to make a big decision. It's been proven that if you take a walk, it will actually help you relax so that you can make a better informed choice. Yeah, and it's so crazy how like that wasn't taught. Ever. Like you would have known. Cause I like, in school, for example, or even in life, like, you see people that lose your temper right away or whatever, never instructed to go take like they go, go walk it off. That's okay. Like go walk it off, go to timeout. Instead of saying go to timeout. If they go take a walk. Yeah yeah yeah. Um but like it's the it's so free like it's a free thing to do. Yeah. And it does so much for you. Yeah. And just to take a walk and to be out in nature or hug a tree or something like, I know it sounds dumb, but like hugging a tree also makes you feel loved. Yes. So I'm reading this book, and in the book they talk about how when you give your attention to the tree or a plant or whatever, they. They stare at it and think of something that made you feel love, right? And then stare at it. You are now giving that tree your energetic force, your field, right? And then the tree will do the same. It will give back to you healing energy. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Just by looking at it. Catch me outside. Staring at you. Staring at a tree. Mind your business. We're gonna make a meme of Nancy staring at a tree trying to get that energy back, baby. But it's so, like. Okay, I know it sounds dumb, right? Like, we're just not in how? The way we grew up. Like, we're obviously if somebody says like, oh, I'm gonna go hug a tree or like, look at this plant. So it could, we could exchange energy. Obviously, if you say that in conversation in front of your family or whatever, they're gonna be like, oh, fuck, are you smoking? Actually, let me tell you that. So let me tell you what I'm smoking. So recently we had a couple encounters with plant medicine, and I'm just gonna dive right in. There we go. I that's what I wanted to talk about, actually, I wanted to talk about the encounters that we've had recently with plant medicine. And so when we say plant medicine like there's different like there's different plant like forms of plant medicine. Yeah. And um, we experimented or we I don't know if that's the right word we've used. I don't know, but like recently we just, we in the effort of being in this spiritual path, in this journey to learn more about ourselves and what makes us or who we are. Mhm. Um, we definitely have been diving into more journeys and ceremonies with plant medicine. And what that means is like for example, a weed like weed is a form of plant medicine. Yeah. And I think that that's something that hasn't been talked like it's not talked about in that way. Not a lot. Not that I've heard not like in the world. Like you obviously people know weed is just a recreational drug that, you know, you get high, you get the munchies and like you trip out. Right. And that's really my understanding, was a weed. That's what it was for me growing up. You know, it was just that like, oh, you smoke weed or. Yeah, I was around weed all I was around weed all my life. Mhm. And. I was never a big like. I would never smoke because I would just fall asleep and I didn't find the purpose of it. Yeah. Um, or I would just get really hungry. I just start eating. I would start eating cardboard. Like, I was like, that's how hungry that you get when you smoke weed. I feel that you just would want to eat, like, everything. Oh my god. But anyway, I didn't eat cardboard, but like, it's just a reference. Yeah, but. So being around weed, it's always having that perception of it of like just, you know, oh, you smoke like you get high, you know, like for whatever reason. And there was nothing spiritual about it. Yeah. That I ever learned. And now, um, now using or now coming to it or coming, I don't even know how to explain it now, using it as a form of getting to know myself better. It's a totally different world. Yeah. Itself. Yeah. Like, I know if I would tell my pod, maybe they knew that. Like my pothead friends, you know, growing up, um, I don't know if they used it for that matter, but they never told me about it. In that matter, it was just more of like, let's go get high. Yeah, but never to be introspective. Like figuring out, you know, who we are. So I, you know, that's actually a good question that I'm going to ask some of my friends that I know smoke, have smoked weed all their lives. Yeah. But again so. Coming at or smoking from that perspective of having a journey with it in that time. So basically like smoking it and then with intention. Right. Um, you smoke it with intention of it bringing to light whatever needs, whatever you need to unfold or whatever you need to dive into for yourself, to learn, for yourself. So giving that intention while you smoke, like I, I never heard of that done before. Like at least not to my knowledge. Yeah. Mainstream. It's just, you know, smoking, but I, I don't know, I wonder if there's I'm pretty sure that there's other people that smoke it regularly for that same that for that reason. Yeah. The insight that it gives them. But they just don't realize like what to do with that afterwards. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Um, so approaching it in that manner and having the journeys that I had with weed, for example, honestly have literally blown my mind open. Literally. Yeah. Because on one of the time. Yeah. Tell us about it. Yeah. One of the times after smoking, like I went to lay down and we had I think we had, um, just like, uh, music playing in the, like, drum music playing in the background. Yeah. In this particular time. And I was laying down and I was laying down and I started feeling it, and I started feeling it open my chest up, and then I started feeling open my brain up, you know, and then like, I started feeling or what was coming to me was all of the thoughts that have prevented all of the thoughts that prevent me from succeeding or like moving forward, like all of the negative thoughts. Yeah. Like they were just being let out through my brain, through the top, like they were sucked out. They were being removed. Yeah. And I felt them just leaving my brain. So I was laying down and I was experiencing that. Like I could feel the thoughts leaving my brain. And at the same time, I could feel a light coming into my chest from from God, from source. Yeah, like from the universe. Like. And I felt it coming all the way. Like from the deep. Like space. Yeah. I mean, it's coming into my chest. And then at the same time, um, feeling the thoughts coming out of my mind. Yeah. And I know it sounds crazy, but it made me like it. I feel like it was helping me replace all of the negative thoughts with the light source, and replace or remove all of the negative thoughts with the light source, and just felt like the light that was coming into my chest. I could feel my chest like compressing, like it didn't hurt, but I felt a pressure in my chest from the light that was coming in. Yeah. And I was just feeling like. Like love and like vibration. Like the highest vibration coming into my chest. And I was feeling love and I was feeling like all of the positive things. Yeah. Coming in, like coming into, into my chest as the negative thoughts were going out of my brain. And it was crazy because, um, both things were happening. Happening simultaneously. Yeah. Um, and my attention was like, went from one thing to another. Oh, wow. And then that and then at one point, I felt both of the things at the same time. Oh, it was so. It was so intense. It was so intense. It was so intense. And I remember, like, one of the things that I heard loud and clear in that particular journey was, you are everything you don't say. Oh, that was the one. Yeah. And I felt that in my chest. Like that message. Yeah. You are everything that you don't say. And as I, you know, journaled about it or like because well that's one of the things to like you could do these, you could go into the journey and you can smoke and have these journeys. Um, you know, the, the biggest part is the integration part. Yeah. The after after you, after you experience all of that, um, it's very important for you to. Journal about it. Yeah. And sit with it, reflect and reflect on it. And that's the biggest part. So when I heard so when I was coming actually, it was like at the end of the journey and I was coming out of it, I heard that I heard you are everything that you don't say. And a lot of my life, I didn't say you held on to it. I held on to it. Uh, so I feel like to me, the message was I was being like, I released all of the things that I didn't say, and it was kind of giving me a clean slate. Like, you have to understand that you are everything you hold on to. Yeah. So you have to stop holding on to things. Say it. Yeah. Be you. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Wow, I know, I know. So you see like. And now I think about this every day. Yeah. When there's certain situations that happened or sometimes when I'm feeling kind of hesitant to post something. Yeah. Or like, whatever the case may be, I remember that, um, I remember the voice that said to me like that, I am everything I don't say. And that motivates you to that motivates me to be out there, to be my authentic self without without feeling, you know, any type of way. Yeah. And I, I don't think I would have gotten there if I didn't have that experience. Mhm. Or in that way, maybe that's how you needed it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, yeah. Um, but I mean that that's one of the reasons why I wanted to bring this up, and I wanted to talk about it. Yeah, because I feel like we we don't know, like these plant medicine, like, either in smoking or doing other things, like, they bring us closer to who we are. Yeah. And they've been given a bad rap. Yeah. So for the longest time I know, especially in our culture, I know for me it was always like, don't do drugs. Yeah. Because they're really bad for you. And then in school there was dare. Yeah. And don't do drugs and like the, the repercussions of doing drugs. Right. Um, but that all started way back in the day where the government was trying to silence it. Yeah, but it's because they know the power that it can give us. Yeah. And they know the, the deeper truth that it can lead us to. And I know for me, like in one of the specifically with marijuana, one of the encounters for me was I had never drawn in my life. I like I just thought I sucked. I'm like, I don't know how to draw right? And one time, like, I think it was the same time where you felt your whole experience that you just shared. I woke up and I started like drawing, and I started drawing puzzle pieces, and I started drawing puzzles and like, what I received during that one was that we are all a piece of the puzzle. We are a piece in the collective puzzle, and we are all here to join together to form the big puzzle. Yeah. And um, in the middle of it was love and and I started drawing this puzzle and it was just like. Holy crap. Like it gave me a new sense of seeing people. It gave me a different perspective of how to view humans, and I feel that it also expanded my capacity. Or as far as love goes, because I think when people think of love, people think of like, I love you or I love my dog, or I love my kid, or like something that they love, right? But they forget to realize that we are love. And it let me see love in a whole different light. And it let me see how like a tree is love, how the wind is love, how the sun is love. Because it is all interconnected and it's all intertwined and. And so now I walk into the world and I'm like, wow, everything is love, right? So even the shitty stuff, like, unfortunately people look at it and it's like, oh, this is shitty, blah blah blah. But like at the end of the day, it led me to see love in a whole different light. And and I feel that that experience alone shifted my capacity as far as love goes. But also like for me to know, like that we are all artists. It also let me see every human being as an artist. Yeah, because we are all creators and we are all an extension of that beautiful source of the universe, and we are all artists in our own way, right? Some may be poets, some may be artists like that draw, some may be painters, some may be a storytellers. Yeah, like every one of us is an artist. And our expression of it is God or source expressing itself through you. Yeah. So when when you say what you are, what you don't say. Mhm. Like we are. So by saying it is our authentic expression of ourselves, of source of God. Right? And so, yeah, that whole trip was a whole trip. Like, yeah, I mean, when you receive, you receive information in a way that also obviously like resonates with you. But again, like if, when, when you sit there after you've had a journey like that and you sit there and you kind of like try to make sense of it because it's all like different visions that you get right when you're going through it. And you, you get different visions and you get different things and feelings. Yeah. Because it makes you feel all the shit. Yeah. It makes you feel all of the things. Like, for example, for me, it made me feel like all of the things I didn't say, all of the thoughts that were going out of my brain that were like, you know, negative thoughts or things I didn't say, like them. It made me feel them. Yeah. And for me, you know, that I was in a big feeler when I first met. Um, and so what, you're cold? Ice cold. Maybe when I would be like, wait, I had to say this, but I would be like, damn. Like, you don't feel any compassion or. See what he would tell me. Where's the empathy, man? And I'm like, I am compassionate. But anyways, um, yeah, for me, the plant medicine really helps me feel because for the longest time I would suppress a lot of feelings and I would hold in a lot of feelings, and I would act like the tough, strong one in the family. And I was the oldest and I was the most responsible and all that stuff that comes with that, right? Yeah. And so when I first started doing plant medicine, um, different types, right. It really allowed me the opportunity to feel and to cry like I had never cried in my life. And I even would tell Nancy, like, I don't know why. Like, I can't cry right now. Yeah, like you remember that, right? True. And I would even tell her, like, sometimes we'd get into like. Like we'd get into conversations. And I knew, like, it was a sad thing, but I wouldn't cry. Yeah. And then like, a day or two later, I'd cry. Like, I finally like I don't know. Yeah. Let myself so true I remember that. Yeah. Or when you feel like with the girl like you there, you feel overwhelmed or whatever situation. And I remember like, you wouldn't allow yourself to, to cry or feel emotion. Yeah. Because I didn't want to see. I didn't want them to see me cry. Yeah. But then I also then I learned, like, it's okay to let your kids see you cry, because if they never see you cry, they will never learn how to. How it how to cry. They will never learn how to resolve it for themselves, how to feel it for themselves. And that's something that like we we grew up with also, like, I didn't really see my mom cry. Yeah, I don't think I saw my mom crying. Yeah. So I automatically thought like, we just don't cry, you know? Yeah, we don't show it. Oh, but I cry. Yeah. You cry. Nance has never had a problem with that. Well, because I'm very, um, empathetic, I feel. Yeah. So, like, it makes me feel like when I watch even, like, sad videos of puppies or something like. I want to cry. Yeah. You do. That's so funny. So. Yeah. So for me, it was a lot of feelings. And, like, even when I take, there's honey infused with mushrooms. I love that that one is always my, like, very gentle one. And it always, always, I would say 100% of the time makes me cry because it gets to me in a way where it's very gentle, very loving, and it kind of just like holds me and it kind of just is like, it's okay. Yeah. And so then I just cry. That one is like, why is my life like this or whatever, right? But like, um, and it just it, it's there, you know, and it's, it's a, it's you feel like the spirit of the plant. Yeah. And it's there for you. It'll it'll be loving for you. It'll be most of the times it's always loving. Actually it is. Yeah. But it just, um, it comes to us in the way that it knows we need it. Yeah. And I think that's the biggest thing, like setting the intention before. Yeah. And I mean, you never know what's going to come. Yeah. You think that you were going to set the intention like, oh, show me what I need to do or yeah, show me why I'm feeling this way. And then you just get. You just start seeing your whole life, your whole life come into play and like, see all of the different things that you experience in a different way. I mean, so there is plant medicine when we talk about plant medicine, like we talk about obviously marijuana, and then we talk about like doing mushrooms as well. And for us. Yeah. And I mean, we're not trying to like I don't know, put like disclaimer this is, you know, our experience with it. And we just want to share it because I truly feel that I truly feel that if you're being called to, especially if you're in a journey of like understanding yourself more like this is I feel like it's something that is very helpful. Yeah, I know it's helped me, you know, a lot. Um, and we talked about like our first journey that we did last year. Yeah. Uh, it's going to be a year. Yeah, it's another one. Yeah. Um, and we talk about our journey that we did last year, and like, that changed our lives. Yeah. That completely changed my life. In how in the perspective or like in just the different things that I had, you know, stored inside. But it was it was that ceremony that we talked about that we talk about that actually allowed me to start going in and becoming aware of the different things and just learn more about myself. Like, I feel I had learned so much about myself in the last year than I had ever before, and I truly feel that it's because of the plant medicine. Yeah, that we did, or that we've, you know, journeyed with. Yeah, it opens you up in a whole different way. Yeah. A lot of people don't realize you can be opened. A lot of people are scared to be opened up. Like, yeah. Um, yeah. Because I heard the comment like, oh, I'm scared. What comes up. Yeah. And and it's true. Like, I understand it. I understand like the I understand the comment. Yeah. Um, because you never know. And again, it's like always and you never know what's going to come up. Um. But you have to know that whatever comes up is for your good, for your own good. Yeah. Like the medicine knows what to bring up. Yeah. Like it knows what to give you and knows what to tell you. And it knows what you're ready for. Yeah, I think that's what people fail to realize that. That plants are such a such great communicators, um, that they know what we need when we need it. And so that's why, like, if you ever choose to do this, you need to trust in the plant that you're going to do. You need to trust it and know that it's got your back. Yeah. Because like the first ceremony for me, I know I've shared it. Like I remember laying there. I'm like, nothing's happening, you know? And then like, bam, I was in it. And then I remember telling you I was like, how? I'm like, how am I supposed to remember all this? That's how I asked it, right? And it was like, oh, this is how you're going to remember. And then bam! It took me through all the things. And what it did was it made me feel, um, because through feeling and emotion, you is how you remember. Yeah. So I was like, oh, this is what you're going to do. And then like. But yeah. Yeah. This last time. Yeah. Um, we did what do we do? We did marijuana. No, this last time with the chocolate. Oh, it was mushroom. It's chocolate. Didn't use mushrooms. Yeah. So in that, in that. Yeah. And in that journey, um, I like it was it was so crazy because we had a sound bath on, on, on YouTube. Right. So we had a sound bath. I was leaned down, had a eye mask. Just so I can give you the full context here we were laying down and then we had a sound bath going and I, I wasn't feeling I think it took like 30 minutes. Yeah. Of like just laying there and I wasn't feeling anything and I was falling asleep. Uh, I remember like I was falling asleep and plant medicine woke me up. It fucking woke me up. Oh my God, like, I, I, I remember was I remember I was falling like starting to fall asleep. And then I woke up and I'm like, oh shit. Like I started feeling it. And um, we had the sound bath going on on the TV and I just started feeling like vibration all over my body. I literally could feel every cell of my body was, like, vibrating with the sound bath that was going on to TV. Yeah. Just for context, I played one, uh, of a frequency that was called Return to Oneness. Yes, I returned to I returned. It was crazy. And I remember, like, it was going on forever. Yeah. And I just remember, like, thinking, um, it felt amazing. I literally, I wasn't in my body, I was, I was a sound. Yeah, I was, I was a sound and I could see the sound vibration. Well, um, and I was, I was feeling the whole time I was feeling the sound in, um, my body, like my cells and my nervous system and everything that I have. Maybe even my bones, I don't know, but everything was vibrating to the sound. Um, to the sound bowls. Yeah, in a beautiful way. And I just felt like I was like, uh, I don't know, like, sound waves. Like, I was just sound waves. And I remember just, like, feeling it. I was like, when is this going to stop? Because. Because it became, like, a lot. Uh, it became a lot. And then, um. I'm like, when? When is this going to stop? And then I it's. And it still kept going and it still kept going. But I feel like that was that was like my, my mind trying to stop it. Uh, and when my mind was trying to stop it, I just felt like a big vibration go through my brain. Like. Like if Pam medicine was like, shut up. Like I'm in control. Yeah. Because I was always starting to think. Yeah. Like I was starting to think like, oh, when is this going to stop? And then I think I heard you, Yanny. Or like, I heard you like, doing something. And then I started thinking, like, I wonder what she's feeling right now. And I was like, thinking, yeah. When I was thinking, I felt this big vibration and like, a B sound like, like go through my brain. Wow. And and medicine was like. And it took my thoughts away. Oh. And I made me go back into my body and start feeling the vibration again of the sound. Wow. Yeah. And I was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm innocent. But I mean, it made me realize, like, look, even if that that's how that's I feel like that's one of the things that I learned from that is how much, um, like my mind or my thoughts like, want to take control. Mhm. They want to take control of their situation? Yeah. Where it's like, just enjoy. Yeah. Instead of just letting him. Yeah. And that's life. Yeah, general. Yeah. Like we start thinking about, like, oh, this is not happening or what's going on. What's going to happen? Um, this person's not calling me back or I don't see an emotion or whatever. Right. And the things that we want to get done, and we have all of these thoughts going through our mind. Yeah. And we don't just enjoy the day. Yeah. We are already focusing on the next thing while you're doing the thing you were going to. Yeah. And like but all of all that matters is for us to enjoy the day. Because as we enjoy the day, we are in high vibration. And that's what's going to make all of the things come to us. Yeah. Like that time we went on the date and I'll like the good stuff was happening. Oh yeah. Yeah. We're like, oh, this is what they mean. I'm just enjoying it. Yeah. Oh, we went to the comedy show. Yeah, yeah. That's so true. They they sat us in the front like it was just perfect. Yeah. Yes. It's so true. But it's like it's crazy because you know the integration after that. Yeah. Um, and then after what? After the whole sound. Sound bath. I think you put other songs. Yeah. They were then they were went with word. Yeah. And then there was one. So. Yeah. So the song that you put after the sound bath. Uhhuh. I forgot which I call a call. Yeah. Okay. Well, that fucking call made me like. Then I started feeling all kinds of shit, and I started crying and like, oh, like, I started feeling like, um. So I started feeling it brought me back to when I was like 4 or 5 years old. Okay. And it started like telling me, you know, that, like how my innocence was taken from me at a very young age and then, um, it went from it went from that to like different episodes in my life, of different stages in my life since I was little, and how the different things just added up. Yeah. To how like the reasons for it, the reasons on why like I felt certain ways in those moments. Like I remember I one of the things like I remember, um, is being I think eight or something and my mom just like going off on me and, and I was crying hysterically and I was wanting and I was wishing like somebody would come, you know, to make it better or whatever. And that never happened. And I just had to get over it. And it made me feel that, like, it wasn't your fault. Like it wasn't it's not you. It's not your mom's fault either. It's nobody's fault. It's just something that happened. But you don't have to feel any type of way. Yeah. You are your own savior. You have like you are your own savior. Yeah. You don't need. You have all the love and all the kindness already in your heart. You don't need anybody to come and save you. Yeah. And it was. Yeah. And I was fucking crying and bawling and like, all of these things and. And then it made me like it. It showed me like the different, like how I was when I was like 5 or 6 years old, and I was just this happy, this happy kid. But I was hiding something, uh, and it showed me how, like, who I really was. Yeah, but because of what happened, like, what was, I always felt I had to hide something. Mhm. I always felt like I was, I wasn't telling the truth. Yeah. About anything. And I was like living in this lie. And as a kid as well as a five year old kid. Yeah. Yeah. And had to and I had to maneuver life that way. Yeah. Because I didn't know, I didn't know, but it showed me all of that like in that time, like, oh my God. And but you see, it was very freeing. Yeah. Like. The fact that it showed me like, oh, this is why you felt this way throughout your life, but you don't have to feel that way anymore because you are your own savior. You have everything you need inside of you. Mhm. And now you could go out there and spread love to other people that might feel that nobody's there to save them. You could show them that there are their own saviors. Yeah. That they saved them. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And you see, that's what the that's the magic part about it, you know, like after that happened or after that ceremony that we did like it's it's been very freeing for me. Um, but like I said, there's also the integration part of it. Right. Sitting with it and understanding it. The next day I journaled like five pages. Wow. Of just different things that, you know, were still things that like, came up, the things that came up for me. Yeah. Um, but that's the integration part of it. Yeah. Like, what did it mean? Like, what did what did the sound, for example, me feeling like the sound and me feeling the sound all over my body. Like, what did it mean to write? Um, and it's the beauty of, like, learning more about yourself. Yeah. Because people forget, like, we have plant medicine, right? Yeah. And we use it to learn deeper parts within ourselves that maybe are so in there that we forget and we don't know how to bring it up. Right. So we use plant medicine. But at the end of the day, you are the medicine. Yeah. The plant is just an ally to help you bring forth those things. But you are the medicine. And so. And it just it's just like a and I know it sounds unfathomable to some people, but like, we have it all within. Yeah. And that's why you are your own savior. You are here to save yourself. You have all of the tools capable or needed for you to be able to save yourself and not wait for somebody to come save you. And the moment that you begin to save yourself is the moment you begin to like, return to that true self of who you really are. Yeah. And, um, and I know this may go over some people's heads, but, like, who we think we are now or who you think you are now is not really you. Yeah. So. And that's all, uh, that's all she wrote before my drop. Yeah. I just want to say, um. I want to say this is why I wanted to share this again. Like I wanted to share these stories. Because like you, like you said, it's been an ally for me. Um, and helping me. I have a I had I used to have a difficult time with like, meditation and listening in and stuff like that. And I think that's this has helped me to be more in awareness and receive. Yeah. The ceremonies and like doing like doing the journeys with plant medicine has allowed me to be more in awareness and has allowed me to learn how to like, maneuver the like through my thoughts. You know, a lot of the time my thoughts like when I would meditate, it would be very difficult for me to quiet my mind. Mhm. Um, to receive um, and that plant medicine has shown me how to. I acknowledge the thoughts coming in, but also at the same time, like be open to receiving. Yeah, it's just crazy. It's crazy to understand, but but I feel I feel like it's it. I feel like it's a power, like it's a powerful thing and bringing light to it in a, in a positive way. Not just like, oh, you're doing drugs or whatever, like, um, I truly, I believe that all of like the film we talked about this like all of the films and stuff, like like avatar, avatar and like crazy movies where you think, like how the interstellar. Oh, yeah. Like, how the fuck did they think of this? Yeah. Oh, now I know. Yeah, yeah, it's directors are over there. Or like, I mean, I don't know if that's true or not, but I mean, they're going on trips and like, I could understand because when I was on a trip like, oh, shoot, like, these are amazing visuals. You made a meme. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. And it's and it's, uh, it it's an insight to, you know, um, I feel like it's interesting that you said, like, plant medicine is the ally, because if 100% agree with that, it's definitely allowed me to remove like that what I just mentioned I would, like vibrated my brain to shut my thoughts up. Yeah, that's what it like. That's what it does. Yeah. It it uncovers your true self and how you feel. And it makes me it makes you it makes you be aware of how you truly, truly feel. What you truly, truly want to like, what truly needs to be revealed and in some instances is stuff that you've buried very deep down. Yeah, that you didn't even know you still had. Yeah. Because it's opened me up like all my, my, uh, brick walls and safeguarding around my heart and all this stuff, like, I really, like, broke through a lot of those barriers. And now I'm a little softy, and, you know, I cry. Um, now I cry. Yeah. But it's definitely been a barrier breaker for me as well. And it's it's been able to help me just see people differently and see myself differently, see my children differently, see you as my partner differently and just humans overall. And, and, and I think that's a very powerful thing to be able to receive something when you go through a trip and integrate it, you know, write about it. How how do I receive this? Right? And then be able to move through life a little differently because of what you receive? Yeah. And you know, like it's just it's just mind blowing to me. Like, even to me, like sometimes I throw fits right. And it's like to Nance and like, I'll be like, well, I just want her to come and, like, hug me, right? And like, then I. And then I see myself like. Like it's like Brenda in the sky looking at me being how I'm being. And I'm just like, what are you doing? Yeah. And then. And then it changes my, my like I'm like, okay, just get up and go, yeah, be loving or whatever. Yeah. And so it just it has really changed my life. In ways that I never even thought was possible. Honestly. Yeah. So I'm just really grateful that Mother Earth provides us with these things for us to be able to get closer to who we really are. Yeah, yeah. That's it guys. If you guys have questions about plumbing, then hit us up. Yeah, we are in no way promoting those. So any but I just want to disclaimer this, but I mean if you feel called to it, we're more than happy to share more stuff with you. I honestly, I'm just going to say it like I feel that everybody should experience it at least once in their life. Well, thank you guys for listening in. Thank you. Bye bye. Once again, guys, thank you for listening. 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