EP 44 | Brenda Shares What It's Like Being in Relationship with a Man vs Woman

In this episode, we’re getting real about lesbian relationships; the magic, the depth, the emotional intimacy, and of course… the hilarious everyday differences.

Nancz (our proud gold star lesbian 🏳️‍🌈) shares what it’s been like only dating women, while Brenda opens up about her experience coming from relationships with men, and let’s just say… she is never going back. No more asking, “Can you take the trash out?” It just gets done.

We get into how emotional intimacy actually makes the sex way better, how Brenda was emotionally and physically checked out years before ending her last relationship, and why she thought something was wrong with her… when really, she was just disconnected from her truth.

This convo is raw, real, vulnerable, and full of laughs because that’s how we roll.

If you’ve ever questioned what deep, safe, sexy connection looks like… this one’s for you.

Keywords for YouTube & Google:

lesbian relationships
emotional intimacy in queer couples
lesbian couple podcast
lesbian sex vs heterosexual sex
conscious queer relationships
gold star lesbian meaning
same sex relationship dynamics
lesbian relationship struggles
queer emotional connection
lesbian podcast couples

Transcript

EP 44 | Brenda Shares What It's Like Being in Relationship with a Man vs Woman 

 Hey guys! Welcome to the Deep Dive In podcast with Nancy and Brenda. And we are back, baby. Sure are. We're still here. We're still standing. We're still grooving. Deep dive in here from Las Vegas, Nevada. Thank you so much for tuning in, guys. Um, we have quite a treat today. Um. And I don't know what's going to happen. Me neither. I don't know what's going to happen, but I think you know what's been happening between us, I guess. Yeah. Um, and I thought it was a good idea to just dive into, you know, talking about relationships. Mhm. And I think more like, most importantly or, um, more specifically being in a lesbian relationship. Let's talk about it. You got a real red real soon. And I actually I mean, this would be a good take because obviously you've been married. Yeah. You have um, you have kind of like the experience. I've never been with the guy before. Mhm. I'm what you call a gold star. Guest star. I got a gold star, guys. I've never been with the guy before. Yeah. Um. So it would it. I'm intrigued. Mhm. Knowing with what we know now in our relationship and how far we've come and the things that we have to and the things that we had to work through. Mhm. Um I'm interested to hear your take on the differences. Mhm. Okay. Oh that's good to hear. Not to get too graphic. Right. We're not going there like fucking sexually. Yeah. That's what you're thinking. No it's not. But anyway I mean look, I think that being in a lesbian relationship, I've never been with a guy before, but, I mean, I'm sorry to say this, but, like, guys are easy to just, like. Like, I, I guys are dumb. Yeah. To me, most most of them I, you know, and I hate to say that because not all guys are. I'm pretty sure there's some intellectual guys out there that are very emotional, emotionally available and emotionally intelligent. But, uh, for the most part, um, and for the most part, from my observation in humanity, 90% of like, men are, I feel, you know, not emotionally intelligent or. Yeah. Emotionally available. Yeah. Um, as a woman is. And as a woman as what? I think a woman needs. Mhm. Um, so that's where I'm saying like it's kind of like it's a different situation. I feel like it's 100% a different, you know, ballpark or ball game whatever that is. Wow. I knew she was gonna go there. I mean, you can't tell me what you're talking about. We just did not say any, like, nastiness. It doesn't have to be nasty. Okay. Okay. All right. So, yeah, I totally agree with you. It's completely different. And I also agree with you in the sense that not a lot of men are emotionally mature and they don't really know, like, how to be there for women. And women can very easily manipulate them. Honestly, like I think that's why relationships with guys are very boring sometimes because women know how to handle men for the most part. Like they know what to say to them. They know, um, how to be with them. They know how to all the things. And the guys just, like, go with it. I don't even know how to explain it. Yeah. That's my experience. I completely. Yeah. I literally, as you're saying that, like, I completely like, picture the relationship. I mean, obviously I've been around a lot of heterosexual relationships, so I, you know, kind of know how it goes. Yeah. Um, but you're. I feel like you're right. Like there's a lot of times where, um. Men, like I said, are not just emotionally available for women, especially like in the times when, for example, you have children and you go through like postpartum. Mhm. Yeah. You know like men don't understand that. Mhm. And some of them don't even care to try to understand it. No. And you would think you'd want to try to understand it. You could be there for your child and you're a woman. But there's a lot of them don't really care to understand it. It's like it's really weird. Well, because they're not emotionally available, because they're in they're masculine and they're not like, in their not understanding the feminine side of them to be nurturing and caring and compassion and empathetic and like all of those loving things that you could be as a man as well. Mhm. Yes. And so I mean but yeah. So I think like in a lesbian relationship obviously first of all I want to get your take like you in our relationship. When we first started, you know, coming out of a marriage. And if you haven't heard that episode on how we met, guys, it's a good one. It's two episodes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did a two part series. Yeah. Um, but if you haven't, if you haven't, like, gone and, like, hear heard our story, um, go back and listen to it. I don't know what episode it is. Yeah. Um, but I do want to hear your take on when we first started, like, let's just say when we first started living together, because I was obviously, like, more because we were because we were, um, long distance for like a year and a half. Yeah. Um, but when we first started living together, we, like, co-existed. Do you remember, like, if you ever compared, like, holy shit. Like this is. Did you ever feel that when we first started dating or living together? Oh, comparing the relationship, maybe not comparing for the lack of better word. That's the only thing that I could think of. But like. Maybe, like, you know, just the differences. I didn't notice the differences. I wouldn't I wouldn't compare it to to like my previous relationship. But I did notice the differences in how different it is to live with a woman. Um, because. Because when you live with the guy, it's very easy to just kind of like fly under the radar, if that makes sense. Go unnoticed. Yeah, it's very easy to go unnoticed if you're in that type of relationship. Yeah. Right. Which is kind of the type of relationship I was in, kind of just flying under the radar. But um, in my case, flying under the radar, but I was more of the masculine entity there. Um, and so it was kind of just like, I kind of like, I don't want to say ruled the House, but because it wasn't even my house. But but, uh, you know, you know, when you call the shots, they called the shots for the most part. For the most part, what do you. Because there was a certain there were certain shots I couldn't call because of it. Oh that's right. That's right. But when it came to business in life, like I would call the shots. Okay, so when you say call the shots like you would be the one to determine, like what you guys were going to do. Yeah. And then like, like what you guys were what you guys were going to do throughout the week or throughout the whatever day. Huh. And that's that's that's it. Talking about. Yeah. Okay. Nothing crazy. Um, but it was really different, like, then the shift happened with, uh, being being with you. And it was completely different because I had to actually have my emotions out. And, like, you didn't even know how to say it. I had to have my emotions out. I didn't even know, like, I, I was like, I didn't even know what I was in for. Dude, as is the thing, because I had to actually share emotions and I had to actually communicate. And all of the things that you do in what you would consider a healthy relationship. Yeah. That was all new to me. So I remember when we had moved in, it was very difficult for us to begin living together because for me, it was all those new things that I had never done in my life. And you were over here like, super emotional and like emotions. And I'm like, man, I've done this all my life. How was it for you moving in, I guess. Um, I've talked about this before. I think for me, in our relationship was more in the the family dynamic. Yeah. I never had experienced that. So that was the biggest thing is like how I how do I be how am I going to be in this relationship with the person that I'm in love with and then share her with her two children? Sure. Yeah. I have to share you and. Yeah, I I've never been in a relationship before where I've had to share the person that I'm with. Yeah. And share that attention with somebody else. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the biggest difficulty for me is like learning how to share you with your children. And actually, I'm still learning. Yeah. Because damn kids are. My kids are time. Well, good. Cuz they're super emotional too. So they're super clingy. Yeah. You know, so it's like, well, it's been with you and then you obviously you have like, the two girl, two girls that come and want all your attention. So I had to learn how to. How to live and be in thy den and be in that, you know, family dynamic. And it's that's actually the biggest thing for me. That's actually a big part for me too. Yeah, I think I think it's been a learning curve. I mean, obviously we still have like things that come up till this day. Mhm. We still have things that we're learning on how to be with each other. Um, and even on the emotional side of things and in, I feel like especially in a, like if you're in a, in a growing go relationship, there's going to be especially because you're on your period, you get emotional and and you're on your period and you get all of that, right? Uh, and it's too. Yeah. And it's too much. So it's even it's even crazier. Double whammy. Yeah. So if you guys want a challenge, just become a lesbian for a little bit. Give it at least two years. Give it some time and see how the how that rides out. But yeah, it is very it's it's an emotional field household. Yeah. 100%. And I have two kids that are two girls. Yeah. Yeah. And that's and that's another like emotional. They're obviously, you know, little and they're, they're still little and just want mommy's love and it's well it's funny like that. You bring that up because what I thought about was in in the relationship with mom and Dad, right? Um, I never had to experience the whole, like, I, I had, like you sharing me with the kids. Right. Right. Because when I was with their dad, it was. It was always me. And so, like, there was no like. It was like I didn't really care to like, we didn't really care to be together. Um, and so the whole like concept of. Because right now I have a very difficult time still because sometimes I want to just spend time with you. Like, I actually want to spend time with you. Right? Yeah. And, um, and it's very difficult because they always want me. Yeah. And but I never had that issue because I didn't really care to spend time with dad before. So when you would go places, it would just be you and the girls. Yeah. Because you just didn't really care to spend time with him. Exactly. Yeah. As or spend time. You want to want to come? Oh, okay. Thank you. I'm tired from work, and I'll be like, okay, screw you. I want to leave the house. Yeah. So that's what you thought. Okay. Oh, that's how every guy sounds. So tired from work. But, uh. Yeah. So so that's so that's new to me, too. Yeah. The whole concept of, like. Oh, well, I really want to be a babe, but, like, the girls want me to watch a dance battle right now, so, like. So you also had to learn or have to learn like how to how to get away from your children to just I'm not a terrible but I wasn't honestly like that's I mean I, I that happens in every relationship like I'm sure you know like when even if it's the dad or the mom, like they want to spend time together and go out or something like, you just go to take like you take them to grandma's house. And um, so it's definitely that's been the biggest learning curve for me in our relationship. And like I said, I feel that it's just because we just have so much like women have so many emotions. And not only that, but I think also in our, I guess, like our spiritual, our spirituality or like the, you know, the that also brings up a lot of things. So not only are you not only are we having our monthly emotions come up, but we're also having all of these past like traumas and Events that we have to process and go through. So I think that's been the biggest thing as well, like the last couple of months, is knowing how to juggle the like the event, like the things that come up. Mhm. Um, emotionally for me and still being present and in our relationship to do all the things right. Yeah. Date nights and in intimacy or, and all of those things. Um because it does take away from it. Yeah. You having to process emotions and having to process like, you know, traumas that might come up during, uh, breathwork or whatever you do. At least for me, it takes time to process. And it kind of like, makes me step away for a little bit because I'm like, oh, I'm not emotionally available to, you know, I'm, I need to go process this in order for me to be emotionally and, like, really present with you as a partner. Yeah. But you see, like. I don't like. I feel like it's very rare for a relationship to have that kind of thing. Yeah, I don't know, but I just feel like there is. Mhm. I just don't feel like there is a lot of connection, deep connection in relationships. Yeah. From my observation and the ups from my observation, obviously I don't know what happens behind closed doors. Right. Nobody does. I'm just saying based off of, like, interaction. Because I feel like you could, you know, a lot about a relationship if just based on the way. At least for me, I'm very observant. So I could tell a lot of about somebody's relationship based on their body language and their comments that they make when they're with their significant other, with each other. Yeah. Like, it's very sometimes it's very obvious because I could also feel their vibe. Mhm. And sometimes I feel like, you know, like the girl, whether it be the girl or the like. The guys just like in in Lala land most of the time. And then the girl is just like, oh, he's an asshole, doesn't know he doesn't get it or, you know, and it's very rare for me to or it's been very rare for me to feel the same way. It's that same vibe with a lesbian relationship. Yeah. Because with the lesbian relationship, like they're all up on each other. Yeah. Oh, babe. Do you need anything? Yeah. Babe, this? Yeah, that I mean, I it's just I feel it's I feel it comes down to the emotional intelligence piece of things. Yeah. You know, I feel like if you are with a guy that, um, has those deep conversations with you, and you guys know each other intellectually and, like, all of these things, like, I feel obviously the vibe is going to be different. Yeah. But 100%, it's a big difference, I feel, when it comes to like. Being with the girl. Mhm. I have the, I have a uh. I have a business partner that I work with and she's like she asked me one time she's like Brenda, you know I've been a lot of lesbians have been like in my orbit lately. And she's like and you know what I love them. And I was like, why do you say that? And she's like, well, you she's like, number one. Every time I meet up with you, she's like, you're always so calm and so, like just happy. She's like. And it just seems like you're always good. And I was like, well, for the most part I am. And then she's like, yeah. And then like, she's like, I went to this party and there was a lesbians hosting it. And she's like, they're always the same to like, always calm and just chill. And then she's like, their parties were like, oh, everybody was like, oh, do you need anything? No. We're good. Oh it's okay, I'll just bring some waters for you. And she's like. She's like the women that I hear complaining that like, their partner doesn't take the trash out is the women that are married to men. She's like the women that are with women. Never complain about that stuff. And that's another thing that is completely different is in a women and women Main relationship. Um, we both clean. We both take out the trash whenever we see it's full. We both do the dishes. Whenever we see it's full. We both, uh, you mostly do the yard work because I don't like it, but we both carry the load in the home pretty evenly. Yeah, because we just see it and we're like, oh, that needs to get done, right? Yeah, yeah. And and I think like it's not like a, a back and forth. No. It's like I don't have to tell you like can you please take out the trash today. Yeah. You know, like we know when the trash comes, we know when to take the trash cans out. Like it just it it baffles my mind when I hear women complain about those things still. Yeah. Because it's like, I. I thought we were advanced in relationships now. I thought we were advanced, but I guess not. It's still the same shit. Yeah, no, it's true because I feel like it should be equally like, yeah, I mean, if you see something that needs to be done, like fucking do it. Yeah. You know, but I don't. But it doesn't seem to me like guys understand that. Yeah. Like they don't understand that concept or there are some guys that like would love to do it, but then the wife like bitches about it. On how it's done. Oh yeah. Right. And it's like. Dude, why are you bitching about it? Like, at least they got it done instead of bitching about it. Maybe it could be said in a different way. Like, thanks for taking care of this, babe. Right. And, like, I don't know if there's something you didn't like. Say it in a nice way. And then next time they do it, they'll remember to do it better, you know, like. Or just have that conversation. Yeah. Like, you know, changing the sheets. Recently, guys, we had a conversation where Brenda said, I feel like, can I share it? Can I share this? Fine. I'm going to share this. She said, um, I feel like I've been taking for been taken for granted. And I'm like, Holy shit. Like, what did I do? Like, that's that's a big thing to me. Yeah. You know, like to me is like, if somebody tells you that they're taking you for granted and you feel that you've been taken for granted, it's like, for me, it's like you're being taken advantage of or something, you know? Got it. And so Brenda's like, I feel like I've been like I've been taken for granted. Like you took the sheets out of the you. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make it funny. Okay? I understand where you're coming from with this. She said you took the sheets out of the dryer, and you just left them on the couch, and they were there for, like, I don't know how many days. And it's like, am I supposed to? She said, am I supposed to like. Get the sheets or like, why did you just leave them there? And I'm like, oh shit. Like, I honestly, guys, I have ADHD. Like I don't remember. Like when I, that I don't remember shit, but like I could move from one thing to the next and like, not even think about it, you know, but obviously if you pointed out to me, then I'm gonna do it. Mhm. Or if I come back to it like I'm gonna do it, it's not a big deal. So when you told me that I'm like holy shit. Like she feels like she's been granted and it was a, she said she wanted to be able to fucking fold the towels and the sheets changed the bed sheets. I'm like, wow. One thing that I didn't do is to change or to fold the sheets. But I think this has been a thing in our relationship is the sheets, because I never changed the sheet like it's not a thing that I do know or been aware of. Yeah. Um, it just hasn't been a chore of mine in in in previous relationships or any relationships. I didn't change the or I didn't fold the the sheets, but I thought it was interesting to me that you felt like you were taken for granted. Yeah. Yeah. But you see, I think there's like deeper obviously there's something deeper there. You know, like you there, there's just something that didn't happen or that I did. And then, like, you felt that I wasn't, um, that I was, like, waiting for you to do it. Mhm. Instead of me doing it. Yeah. And I understand that like sometimes, sometimes it, it may feel that way in relationship. Like you may feel like the other person's like waiting for you to do it. And it's like dude, if you see something dirty or on the floor like pick that up, you know? But I think we're good about it for the most part. I think the sheets is still something. The sheets and the towels, sheets and towels are still something that I'm like. It's not. It's not something in my radar. It's crazy. It's not like I'm very observant and I'm like, I understand. Like, I could feel the whole house. Yeah. You're right. Like, right now I could feel the pool. Like I had to clean the pool. I could feel the side of the house. Like I have to clean the side of the house. Like I could feel the house and what needs to be done. But for some reason, I don't feel the sheets or the towels. And it's not something that, like, I don't want to do. Like, it's not something I don't hate, I hate to do or whatever. I just don't even like think about it. In my world, in my life, that should just get done. I mean, maybe it'll just get done. I don't think it's such a big deal, though, for you to feel like you were taken for granted. Well, you gotta understand my. My love language is, um, one of them is acts of service. Yeah. So when I feel like I have to keep doing the things, it's like, oh, you don't love me. Mhm. You know, and so but it's like, oh but if you do the sheets and change the bed I'm like oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. You know. But what about everything else. Everything else. What. Yeah. Like what about everything else that I do. It's clean to the sheets and towels. Uh, but like, I clean the I, like, I clean the rest of the house. Like, you clean the backyard. You clean the pool. I know, but I, I just feel like, why am I why do I always have to do the the sheets? Yeah. Like. Oh, God. All right, well, we're gonna get there. I mean, you know, it's all. It's all about communication. Yeah. Instead of instead of you just waiting for me to fold the sheets and put them away, you could just tell me, where are you gonna leave the sheet for five days? Yeah. Are you gonna fold them? Yeah. You know, but not, like, an aggressive way. Maybe like something loving, you know? Like. Like baby. Hey, babe. Yeah. Hey, love. Yeah. Hey, love the sheets, you know? Yeah, the sheets right there, babe. Just. Just, you know, fold them up and put them. Put them away. But. Yeah, but you see, like. But you see, this could cause a big thing in a relationship. Yeah, like it does. Yeah. Like, it could cause, like, not knowing. You start building resentment right? For one another and stuff. But that's the thing. Like, we you talk about it, and then you fix it. Yeah. Talking about it. Yeah. Thinking about it. And I think that's. Yeah. Because again you're in you're in a girl girl relationship with all the emotions. But then there's also past like past traumas or maybe still, you know, um, past things that don't allow you to communicate those things from past relationships, from past relationships or how your partner reacted to things in the past. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. That's also another one. Yeah. Because that I mean, I know that that's one of the things that happened between you and I is like, I used to be very reactive to you sharing like stuff. Mhm. And I know that those. Being that way caused you to not share things with me? Yeah. And I mean, obviously it's like something that I'm like, okay, like I worked on or are working on, am working on. I think I've gotten better at it. Mhm. But yeah. Like even that, like you tend to actually like pick up things even in the relationship that you don't even that you're not even aware of until you talk about it. Yeah. Because I know that we like since we got together, there were still a lot of things that we had to like work through, especially because you had just gotten out of a marriage and religion and like all of those things, and you still had a lot of things that you had to work through yourself. Right. Um, and I feel like it's just been more about having that communication. Um, I mean, honestly, I feel like our relationship has gotten 100% better after, like, we started really, like, going in. Yeah. And what she means by going in is, like, what people call the journey. Don't wait. I should have prefaced it. We keep dove into each other so deep. Wow. Y'all are hearing a different side of Brenda. Brenda. To talk about that. No. But yeah, I think in in actually going deeper into our healing journey and, um, we call it our spiritual journey because it's really a spiritual one, I feel. Um, it it has allowed us to because as we grow individually, then we grow together as a partnership. Um, and really get better. But yeah, there are still some times where, like, we don't communicate and like, it just goes out the window, you know, and it's just like, okay, maybe we should have just talked about this first. Yeah, but I feel like it lasts for like a second. Like I feel like it lasts for just like, you know, we are aware of it. We we are aware that we we're we're both feeling like off. And you know something? Whether we get mad at each other for a little bit and then we're like, wait, we're mad at each other. Why are we mad at each other? Yeah, like what's going on? And then we kind of, like, talk about it. Yeah. Um, or we just tell each other to stop being dumb. Mhm. Um, but it's. But it's always been. Like, it's always a work in in in obviously in every relationship I think it's more of the like again, I keep saying this, I feel because it's like a big part of a relationship is the emotional intelligence or the emotional available availability of one another, because even as a woman, you could actually close off. And like if you're in a relationship with a guy that you feel that doesn't listen to you or doesn't, you know, doesn't hold a safe space for you to share the things that you feel you need, um, from that partner. Like, you're just you're gonna you're literally going to shut down. Yeah. You shut down. And in shutting down, you shut down your emotional intelligence as a woman. And that's the biggest part of being a woman, I feel. Yes, I agree, because I, I know from experience that, um, In my previous relationship, I actually shut down emotionally, I would say almost two years into the end of the relationship, I was not. I was no longer emotionally connected to the person. And I know that for women, emotional intimacy comes first before sexual intimacy. And so it got to the point where, um, I thought something was wrong with me because I, I didn't want to have sex. And so it wasn't until after I left that I realized that I had disconnected emotionally, which in turn caused me to also disconnect sexually. Yeah, because we know there's nothing wrong with me. So it's like, no booboo, nothing wrong. Um, so so yeah. And I, I learned that, um, afterwards, like, wow, the importance of emotional intimacy with women, um, whether it's a lesbian relationship. Yeah, I was sexual. I was just going to say that because I feel like with the with a, uh. With a lesbian relationship, it could be the same. Yeah. You know, if you're with a partner that doesn't hold space for you and they're, you know, not emotionally available to you because you and you need that. Mhm. Um, it could be the same. Like you could shut down and like, you know, not there's, there's just definitely a lot of people I feel that are emotionally unavailable. Yeah. Because they just don't like to feel their emotions I mean. Uh, case in point is with with what you do. Like sound healing sound sound, um, breathwork, you know, and somatic movement, like, all of those things are essentially tools to use to maneuver your emotions and, like, feel your emotions and go in and feel, you know, the things that need to be felt for you to align back to yourself and remember who you are even in that conversation. Like when you have that conversation or you or you have. You say that to people. They're just like, what? Yeah. I don't want to feel right, but I don't want to, like, I don't want to go there. And there's a lot of people that I know that experience it for the first time and they get scared. Mhm. And they don't go back. Yeah. Because they don't want to feel anymore because nobody taught them how to feel. Yeah. And they're like wait a minute. Yeah. And and a great example like I recently did a I call them guidance sessions. And I recently did a guidance session. And how I structured them is at the beginning of this session we do some vagus nerve activation and nervous system regulating. And in that is where the purpose of me doing that is so that you can begin to feel safe in your body, because we are outside of our body a lot of the time. Yeah. And, um, so, so you can begin to feel safe in your body and in the space that you're in. And in the session that I did, the person started crying about like, about three minutes. But then you could tell they like, held themselves back. And then they cried again a little bit afterwards when we circled back to that feeling. Because I will ask you questions about the feeling, right, so that you can get to the root of it and then address it, and then you're like, oh, wow, this is where that's coming from. So when we circled back to it, you know, what they said was that they were feeling sadness. And at first I asked them what what do they think the sadness is from? And they said, I don't know. And the thing is, we do know, but a lot of the times we just don't want to go deeper to find out what it really is. And so I ask, well, if it's coming from somewhere old, it's not a new sadness, it's somewhere old. What do you think the sadness is from? And then they shared that when they were little, they just wished their parents would be more supportive of them when they were doing extracurricular activities. Their parents were never there. Yeah. And and they started crying even more. And they realized that that's where the sadness was coming from. And, um. And so in that session that that was just one of the things that came up like, wow, I've been carrying all of this sadness my whole life, just simply from the fact that I grew up thinking that my parents were never supportive of me, they were only supportive from afar. And so everything that I did was to try to gain their support. And that was just one of the things that came up. But now they felt that sadness, and they were able to release the sadness and sit with the sadness because I'm guiding you through it. And I was like, just feel it. Yeah, just let it out. Just feel the sadness. And they were able to feel the sadness. That's what a lot of people like you said. Um. Try to stop. Yeah. They don't want to feel it, but the the the money is in the feeling of it. The gold or the diamonds come out when you sit and feel with it. Because the diamond goes through the rough to come out shiny. And so that is exactly what our feelings are here for us. It makes us feel rough in the moment. But once we allow the feelings to flow through and we come out shining. Yeah. Yeah. And you learn so much about yourself. I always think about, like, imagine, like. And I always say this as well. I imagine a world where we're all, you know, connected to ourselves and connected to our feelings and give ourselves a time to process those emotions. Mhm. I or I feel like we would all be in a very higher frequency, you know, living more joyous and loving and showing kindness to one another, more so than what we do. Well, 100% more than what we do right now. Mhm. But a lot of people we, we weren't taught to feel. No we weren't taught about emotions. Yeah. We were never told like. I mean for me it was like like I mentioned before like don't. Like you're like I didn't even know what emotions were. Yeah. Me neither. So I just feel like, you know, that's one of the reasons why I mentioned, I think in a relationship, emotional, emotional availability between each other is a very, like fundamental thing. Um, and I'm not a specialist on relationship or anything, but, I mean, I kind of feel it's common sense, but again, common sense is not common. So I say all of that to say, like if you if you feel stuck in your if you feel not stuck, I come kind of like feeling weird about the word stuck. But if you feel like stagnant, stagnant, or if you feel like you don't have a safe space to share, like if you're in a relationship and you don't have a safe space with your partner to share, really like how you feel and it doesn't even have to pertain to them. You know, if you're simply just feeling sad because you remembered something, or you're feeling sad because of work, or because you, whatever reason, like you should be able to share that with your partner without them, you know, with them just providing you a safe space. Mhm. Without any judgment or backlash or like. Anything? Yeah. Just to listen. Yeah. And I think it's very important for us to be aware. And one of the biggest red flags is, I think if your partner is not giving you that safe space for you to share these things, then you should really reevaluate your relationship, because that's holding you back. Yeah. That's holding you back from having that conversation. If you're not able to have a conversation about your feelings and about how you're feeling generally because of life or whatever the case may be, like you, you are better off alone. Yes. And you will make it like you're going to become a single mom all of a sudden. Yeah. You're not a mom. But, like, you're just going to stay single with your dog, like it's okay. You will make it out. Yeah. To the other side. And I think that's the the biggest and most important thing is like, we need to. I feel as a society now, we need to start sharing these feelings and our emotions and, um, and them being respected by everyone else. Yeah. You know, if I go into a group setting and if I share in that group setting, whatever I feel inclined to, and if it's something emotional, I would I would really appreciate if they are respected, it, you know, rather than feel like I couldn't. Right. And I feel like that's something that we should start going towards in friendships, in our relationships, in our family, even within our family. Like we should be able to share our emotions without being like. Awkward and weird, you know? Like, it should just be a thing. Like, hey, I'm like that. Like, I'm feeling like you're judging me right now, or I feel like I don't like what you just said, you know, and talk about it and talk about those things. We don't do enough of that. And I think we're just, like, suppressing our emotions as a society. And we're just like, I feel like a lot of people are just living in their own little bubbles, which is, you know, to each its own. But I guess it's time for us to like, we're nothing without a community. Yeah. And I feel like because we're not able to share that, and I'm literally just speaking for myself. Yeah. Because that's how I feel. I feel that I've been putting myself in a bubble because I don't feel connected to people, because if I don't feel connected to you and I don't feel like I'm going to be entering a safe space, I'd rather not be there. Um, I'd rather just be in my own little bubble. Um, but I know that that's also not healthy. Yeah. You know, so that's why I'm saying this. Because I know that at some point in time, this is going to reach millions of people. And I hope that everybody, you know, gets a little, just a little taste of like, hey, let's just all be open and and loving and, and, uh, have no judgement towards each other. Yeah. Even if it's scary. Yeah. I think that's the first step. Is sharing it, sharing whatever it is. Even if it feels scary to you, it feels scary to you because it's unknown you've never experienced it. In taking the first step to share with somebody, what if you're opening up the door for them to then be like, oh my gosh, they're sharing with me like I want to share with them too. I don't have anybody to share with. I just I know that everything in this world is either coming from love or asking for love. And I think if we just see it that way, it will maybe help us a little bit more when it comes to these things. Yeah for sure. Well, there you have it. We definitely wanted to get a little, um, I don't know, make it a little bit more fun in regards to, like, you know, just. Yeah, having these conversations and sharing a little bit of our personal relationship and. Yeah, just share the love. Guys. Oh once again, guys, thank you for listening. If you gain something or feel inclined to share this episode, please do so. Go to our Instagram Deep Dive In podcast that's dive in the eye of AI and connect with us there. Comment, share. Post. We appreciate the support so much and we will catch you on the next one.