EP 49 | Brenda Shares her RBF Stage and How Her Confidence Changed (IYKYK)

You ever think you’re confident… but deep down it’s really just your inner survival baddie trying to keep you safe? Yeah, same.

In this episode, we get real about the difference between performative confidence (the “I got this” energy that’s actually running on fear or scarcity)… and embodied confidence — the kind that comes when you finally stop performing, and start owning all the parts of you that felt unworthy, unseen, or “not enough.”

We talk about how society and culture taught us that confidence = how you look, but we’re here to say nah. True confidence comes from how deeply you’ve sat with your own shadows and how lovingly you’ve chosen to rise.

If you’ve ever wrestled with not feeling “beautiful enough,” “smart enough,” or “worthy enough,” this one will hit deep — but in the best way. It's time for a confidence glow-up from the inside out. Let’s get into it.

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube — and don’t forget to follow us + subscribe to the channel for more Deep Divin convos.

Brenda created a PDF guidebook that tells you your patterns and why they keep occurring. Then guides you on how to slowly begin to change them, if you want. Check it out here: What's Really Running Me?

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Transcript

EP 49 | Brenda Shares her RBF Stage and How Her Confidence Changed (IYKYK)

 Hey guys! Welcome to the Deep Dive In podcast with Nancy and Brenda and we are back. Hi, guys. Hey. Hey. I like that. It's funny how you, uh, smile every time I open it up and say, oh, man, you're just staring at me like. Yes, I am. Welcome back, everyone in this, uh, crazy world that we're living in. Here we are smiling. Our truth's in Vegas. One more day, guys. One day. I definitely want to talk about that for just a second, because I don't. I don't feel like there I feel like I don't want to be naive to the situation and everything that's happening in the world and here in the United States, for I think the first time, I kind of don't feel safe in here. It's a lot of like crazy feelings that you feel when you don't feel unsafe or when you feel unsafe. Yeah, but I don't want to give power to that, you know? Like. When those releases are coming in. I would just like, you know, focus on my life and waste. How to build a life, to be able to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Now we want to write. We want to. But yeah. And I said happy birthday to somebody today. And I'm like, oh, do you have any plans? And then they were like, I'm just trying to stay alive right now. Like you are into something. Yeah. It's so crazy. We're just, like, so unbothered with, like, we might die every day. Yeah, I know. I think just because we live through so much, the so many things. Another once in a lifetime event happening. Mhm. And we're kind of just like making light of the situation by making jokes and like whatever. Mhm. But it's real. It's real. And I feel like it's very important to understand or it's very important to be mindful of how you're feeling in these times, because if it's getting overwhelming and it's you're starting to feel stressed out or overwhelmed, like stay away from looking at things like a break. Take a break from social media. Take a break from watching the news. If you used to watch the news and just be mindful of that, because that's really the only way that we're going to that we're going to be okay. Yeah. You know, after whatever, I mean, anything could happen in any moment. That's just how life is. But the uncertainty of it can definitely bring some anxiousness and anxiety in, in itself to to you. So I mean, just be I try to be mindful as much as possible just to make sure that I'm also not just consuming a bunch of things that could affect my my state of being and my vibration, my frequency. Because you can't you can't function. It doesn't go together. You can't function living like that, you know, in anxiety and and being fearful and just. The last thing I want to say myself about this is like, they literally just want to keep us in fear. Guys like all of these things that are happening, that are outside of our control is to keep us in fear. We have to understand that, and we have to understand that all of these tactics are just for them to keep us in fear. And we need to transmute that, transform that into basically like knowing that that's what they're doing. Yeah. And it's all a tactic to do that, to keep the keep the population in fear. So you have to understand that and make sure that you're if you are in fear, you're giving fearful. In the times that I'm feeling fearful because of the things that I hear, like I turn it off and I remember and I come back to love and come back to my faith and come back to myself. That's out of your control. And the only thing that you have control of is the way that you feel. So don't let them take over how you feel. Yeah, because that's what they want to do. Yeah. Well, the moment that we begin to feel a certain way because of the actions outside of us, we are giving away our power to that specific person or thing that we are focusing on. And the way that we return that power back to us is, like you said, is disconnect from it for a bit. Give yourself that break and something that you can actually do. Um, when you find yourself getting anxious because of all of the things that you're hearing and all of that is, you know, going to the bathroom or like, go into your room and breathe, um, and do a breathing where you breathe in for, for, or count before you breathe out for a count of six and then you hold. That release for a count of eight. And then back up again. So you breathe for a count of four, in, out through the mouth for a count of six, and then hold it for a count of eight, and do that for a good two minutes, and you'll find that you'll be able to restore, um, the power back into yourself through your breath. Yeah. Yeah. That's powerful. Um, so. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's honestly a whole last topic in itself. But like I said, we is is just being mindful of it. We don't want to give it too much of our attention. There is nothing to fear. I don't I don't think unfortunately, it's out of our control. Yeah. And we can't live in fear. Yeah. And I think that that goes right into like, what we wanted to talk about and being in that confidence of yourself because you have to have confidence in yourself, essentially to be in awareness, to transform that fear into love and faith and understanding that you have the ability to do so. Yeah. And finding that confidence is is in that, say, like, I think it goes all together. Right? Honestly. Yeah. Because I think we we sometimes we. We get to a point where we feel like we don't have confidence, like where confidence in what's going to happen in our life, confidence in how things are going to turn out. Sometimes we lack that confidence in those certain areas, but we have to understand that confidence can come from the root of confidence can be very different. Meaning like it can come from different from different. I don't know the sources. Yeah. Or at different events in your life or is that low like like that. Like for example, I've noticed within myself that my, the confidence that I have in myself now is different than the confidence I used to have like ten years ago. Let's just say I got it because there is a it's like as if there is a fake level of confidence and like the whole fake it til you make it. Yeah. Kind of like that. Yeah. And that applies to anything. Like, but like for me how it applied was like I had this confidence and people always saw me as being confident. But it was a confidence built from protection and survival. It was a confidence built from what I need to be like this or like look like this so that people don't take advantage of me, or so that people like don't mistaken me for soft and yeah, like the little beak. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I don't know if you feel the same way. Like if you feel you had to have like, no, I, I mean, I was okay to be portrayed as a little bitch. Okay? Okay. So I hear you, Carrie. They call me a little bitch. I'm scared for sure. Like. Oh, yeah. Uh, so for me, yeah, I had to, I, I had this, like, um, and so, like I was saying, it was rooted from this survival from, like, I always had, like an RBF. Right. And what's the RPF again? I haven't seen bitch face. That's funny because, um, when we met, like. Yeah, there's definitely talk about that. Uh, in our, like, at work, I used to do, like, um, zoom. There was a couple people that made that comment about you exactly like. And I just found out I ain't no, I don't I said I was never gonna say this or that. I'm saying it now. Uh, um, but you did. You did come off like that. Yeah, I did, I mean, I mean, you're saying it. Yeah, I did say no, I agree, I did, I agree and it was, but it was like it was fake. I see it as fake confidence. Okay. Um, because now my confidence comes from my inner knowing. Yeah. It comes from, like, I know that I am protected and that I it's softer, I support it. Yes, it is that a softer confidence that you have, because you're no longer like you're no longer coming from a place of like, well, I don't want them to think I'm weak. Right? Because, you know, at this point you don't care what people think. Now, now you're like, you know, your power within, you've aligned with it and aligned with yourself. Therefore you're just betraying from them that alignment instead of thinking, instead of being in a state of like, I don't want them to think I'm weak or a little bitch or whatever, and you're thinking like, well, I know my power, I know I know who I am, yeah, I know what I am, and I know that I come what I, what I stand for. Yes. Like I feel like there's a difference between imagine like a two women entering the room, right? And one is like they they're all fully dressed up and everything, but one is like, yeah, like I get all the men or women and like, boss, like a boss space, right? And so imagine the boss babe. And then the second one is like just this woman that is like, yeah, I'm here and I know who I am, and but I'm dressed as a hippie and it's not going to work. No. Yeah. I mean, like, they're both in, like, suits or like, like suits and like, they look amazing, beautiful, fit in their power. But what is standing more of like. Um. Um. Her confidence is coming from. I don't want them to see me weak. And the other one is coming from, like I know who I am. Yeah. Like, I, I know who I am and, like. Yeah. And, like, there's a big difference in the energy that they give off. Yeah. 100% difference. And I've met so many people, especially women, where they are the boss hustling women and they have this energy to them that is like fuck all men. Like they ain't true and like all this stuff, right? So that's how you used to be. I wasn't like, fuck all men like. No. But I wasn't depending. I wasn't, I was independent. Like, I would marry myself and. Yeah, but you can't have somebody that was not in there. In there. Uh. Manly hood. Manly hood? I guess masculinity. Yeah. Yeah, because you had to. But you were also like a business owner at that time, and you were like, building your business and stuff. So you were like, you have to have. You have to have confidence. Yes. In that realm. Yeah. Not like fields. Yes. Because you're out recruiting. You're out like building your business. So you have to have confidence in yourself to to do that. To do that. Yeah, yeah. So, like, you could still be married to a person and you still have to step up as dual roles because the spouse does not hold up their part and cause a little bit. So that is and now I'm just like, I'll step into a room and I don't have to wear a suit or dress a certain way to feel the confidence that I know I have now. Yeah. You know, and like, I, I went to a place earlier today and before, like I would be. Kind of nervous or, like, doubtful, you know, um, of, like, oh, man. Like, how is this going to go and whatever. Right. But now it's different. Now it's like, oh, well, this is who I am and this is what I have to go offer, and this is what I'm going to show. And if that's not good for them, then, okay. And because you're coming from a place of knowing who you are, you're embodying yourself, your your power, your passion for what you're doing instead of like, oh, I hope they like me, right. And there's I think also what's happening now in the world is a lot of, I think, especially more so women, they're getting their confidence from their physical body while they look. And that is not a true attribute of what confidence really is. Confidence is not based on how we look or like how well put together we look to the outside world. And I think when as women get older in their age, and obviously because they're getting older, their bodies also physically going along with it, like women's bodies change. Yeah, women's physiques change. And. When we place our confidence and our self-esteem and like who we are and how we look. That is why there are so many women now that are like, they can't even leave the house without makeup, or they can't even leave the house without, you know, looking a certain way and just kind of like a stigma that our society has put into it. Yeah. Like, oh, looking good all the time. Yeah. I think, you know what I think for me, like, I don't know, I, I feel like there is some confidence level you reach if you're physically feeling good. Yes. As well. And I know I understand that it doesn't all like it's not all about the physical. And I know what you're saying is like some women are just literally all about the physical, but then they still have like they're still anxious, they still have anxiety and depression and all of these things, um, because they're not working through their shit. Right? Right. So they're just focusing on their physical body and kind of just like, thriving from having a go, a good physique. Yeah. And because they look good, like that's really all that supports their confidence and supports them to continue living even though they're having a breakdown, you know, for whatever reason, because they haven't dealt with their shit or the situations that they come across or their traumas or whatever it may be. So they're just focusing on on their physical. Yeah. And it'll take the time to, you know, go within and like learn who they are and like, find out what they like besides the physical. Yeah. And I know for me, I feel like there's definitely a sense of confidence that comes from being fit and like. And being healthy. Mhm. There's definitely there's definitely that. But I know it's not 100% it. Yeah. Um but it does boost your confidence for sure. Yeah. When people start telling you like oh you look good like go blah blah blah. It's just the way that our society is. I feel like that's the. You can't really escape that. Yeah. Um, but you have to wonder. I mean, at one point, you have to understand that that's not everything. Right. And I know that that's what you mean. Like it's not everything. It's part of it. But it's not everything. And one should not just focus on that. Mhm. It's confidence has always been tricky. Um yeah. It's always been a tricky subject for me. The reason why I say that is because I, I feel like I've been confident. Like I've been confident never thinking about, like what I want other people to see me as. Yeah. But I was just like, I don't know. Like, like a job interviews or whatever. Like, I feel like I've always it's I mean, it's obviously like you are always nervous in those, in those things. Mhm. It's always like I can't even describe it because it's always been a tricky thing for me. I feel like I have confidence in myself, but a lot of time, a lot of the times before like. Before when I was younger, like in my 20s, even in my 30s. Um, it was always thinking about like, oh, is am I really worthy of this opportunity? So, okay. You know, so it kind of like, went hand in hand with my worth. Yeah. And I sometimes like, holy shit, like, am I, am I smart enough to do this? Yeah I, I sometimes I like I questioned it so I think because I questioned it I'm like well fuck I, I still I have to do it, you know with whatever job, for example, do I have to do it like shit, like I have to do it so there's no other way. Like, like, for example, being a loan officer and you're in sales, right? Right. I remember when I started like being a loan officer. So you go through training and stuff, and then they put you on the phone and you start getting calls and mind you, your manager, director or whatever, they're listening to all of your calls, so they're listening real time while you are on the phone trying to sell a loan to a or like to whoever, um, and you're dealing with people from all across the United States and you're, you're, you're dealing with different type of people. Yes. You have people that are engineers, people that are doctors, like you're talking to different people in different. Yeah. So you have to have a sense of confidence in those moments. Yeah. I was when I started and I got on the phone, I literally I, I don't know, I almost I, I kind of like blanked out, uh, like I was so nervous and so anxious and at the same time, like, I had to battle with myself on my worthiness of being there. Really? Yes. Because I'm like, damn, this is like I'm talking to a doctor right now. Oh, you know, or I'm talking to an engineer because obviously you have to go through like a whole application, right? You know what they do their income, blah, blah, blah. So you're having this conversation with somebody and then you find out like, oh, this guy makes $400,000 a year, he's a doctor or whatever the case is. Um, and you're just like, Holy shit. Like, I, I need to sound it, like, educated. Educated. And until, you know, and you have, like, you're thinking about these things while you're on the phone with them, trying to sound educated and trying to sound like a professional salesperson in your first day on being on the phone. No no no no no no. It was honestly the craziest, the craziest environment I have ever been. I did not believe that I was truly there and doing that because. I didn't feel like I was equipped to do it. Yeah. Um, I didn't feel confident in doing it. Now, if let's just say you had gone to a university and had a bachelor's degree and you were in that position, would you say you would be equipped to doing it? Possibly. Mm. Yeah, possibly. Like, probably like gives me a kid getting a certification or something. I mean, but I got licensed. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Um, I got licensed. I went through, like, the training and, like, learned all the laws and whatever. But nothing prepares you. But that's all, like, the loss of that. Not that nothing prepares you to have a conversation with somebody and try to sell them on going with you. Yeah. You got to learn people's skills. You have to learn people skills. Yeah. You have to learn how to catch little things that they say. And so all of that, like, it's crazy because it's like. So anyway, like, I felt like at that point I was more in like like, what is it called when when you're. Oh, I can't think of the word, but you're kind of like like know that you're, um, imitating. Oh, is your posture. Yeah. I feel like for sure I was an empath, like, had imposter syndrome or something, because I didn't completely feel like I was real, but then. Like that was real, that I was doing that. But then I, I mean, now I, now I understand that it just wasn't something that I was, that I was aligned with, um, you know. Yeah. Because, uh, because I don't believe in the financial system that we have and having to have a loan and like, all of these things, like, I don't believe in that. And then there were situations where I would help people, like, refinance their house to pay off their debt, and then, um, they'll have a lower monthly payment, right, because we would pay off all of their debt. But then that doesn't help that person learn on how to not get in debt anymore. Yeah, it's just putting a Band-Aid on the situation. And that's just our financial system, right? Anyway, um, but I didn't I didn't believe in that as well. So I don't like I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but I know I could do the job. Like, I know I did it for almost ten years. Yeah. For actually. Yeah, ten years. And. Like, I know I could do it, but sometimes, you know, depending on who you're talking to and sometimes, like the conversations you don't feel worthy of, like being there. At least I didn't feel confident enough to, like, be there or close the deal because I felt like there were more. I felt like, um, whoever I was talking to was more educated than I was, even though they didn't know anything about a mortgage. Right? Like, I was the one. I was a professional there. Yeah. Um, but sometimes those things play. Play like mind. Fuck you. Yeah, I think that's for anybody. Yeah. Because you grow up thinking like, oh, a doctor, a lawyer. They're like, educated and all of this shit. But, like, no, you're the professional. You're the expert on that subject. Yes. Like, even in my realm. Like, I'm always like, oh, maybe I need to get another certification or I need to, like, get another certificate for blah, blah, blah. Right. Yeah. And people will find me more credible. But, dude, I've been practicing it for like, seven years of my life on myself. Yeah. I don't need more certifications or more education to like. Feel like, oh, that is the only time people will take me seriously. Yeah. And I think that that is I realized that that, for me at least, is something that is like it goes deeper than than what we really think, which is like, oh, why do I feel that I need to have credibility behind my name? Yeah. In order to then go out and actually, like, promote my work to people when I already know more than the average individual. And it goes for anybody, I think. I think we all fall victim to that. Yeah. Like, oh, I don't have a bachelor's degree. I didn't go to college. It's like blah blah blah. Like that was a normal, you know, thing that to do in order for you to seem educated or. Yes, or seem, you know, credible or whatever, is having the certification hanged on the wall. Yeah. You know, your degrees or whatever, um, is what we grew up seeing. So then you think that, like, oh, shit, I didn't. But you see, like I'm being told also from our parents. Yeah. Yeah. Like I brought you. I came here so you could have a good education. Yeah. And that has been imprinted into our being. My parents never told her that. No. Maybe not. The one exception that I just came here. My parents never. They they they never. Or at least I don't remember them saying, like. Oh, we came here for you to have a great education or a better life or, you know, a better life. Like that. I don't think they ever said like we came here for you. Okay. Okay. Well, that's good for you. You don't have all that stuff dumped on you, then, I guess. Yeah. Um. Like. Why? Because they wanted to. Yeah. My parents were like. We came here to give you a better life. And I'm like, okay. So then when I dropped out in college, they were, like, so devastated. Your mom came. Your mom got pregnant after she got here, right? Yeah. So she didn't even know she was gonna have you. Yeah. Like she got pregnant. Um. Yeah, probably. Like right after. Yeah. Not here. So then she. She's fucking lying to you, I don't know. Like she said, she was evading, like her life over there. No, sorry. I was like, how did you come here for me? Yeah. Evading it for your own well-being. Yeah. Don't put that on me for that. Yeah. That's how I always think about. Like, when people say, like, their parents can't, like, told me. Like they came here to give them a better life. And it's like they didn't have them. Some, some, like the parents, didn't have their children before they got, like they came without children. So it's. No. You came here for you, bro. Yeah. You came here for a better life for you. That's true. That is very true. But, I mean, I get it. Like. Yeah, it was her saying. Yeah. And and sometimes I think we carry that on our backs. Like, we think that because we didn't get those credit, that credibility that, that they thought we would get that sometimes we kind of looked down on ourselves at times because you don't have that bachelor's or master's. Yeah. But I believe that lived experience is far more credible than an education at university that, like, you learn more from running a business than going to take a business class in college. Yeah. Like, yes. The experience you learn from running a business. You learn how to have a business, but the professors that are teaching business classes, most of them don't own a business. They don't know how to run a business. Yeah, they don't know what a business feels like when you have one. Right? And so, I mean, there's certain professions that, yeah, you need to go to school and get that education. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Emily, I think I would want a doctor to like. Yeah, through the lawyers and stuff. Yeah, yeah. There are certain professions where you do need to go, but but like for business administration, you learn best by actually starting your business. And so that's how I feel now is like, oh no. My lived experience through what I do now for work is far has far more credibility than any certificate of completion that I'll receive. Yeah. And I think it also goes with your passion. Yeah. You know, like, if somebody comes to me with their business or that what they've created and they're passionate about that and they're like they're demonstrating their passion or they they seem passionate when they're describing what they do and stuff like, I feel like that in itself is worth a lot more than any degree or whatever. Like if you're passionate about something and you're following your dream and you're following the vision that you have, um, on what you what life you want to live like, that just goes to show like you're you're like. But everything? Pretty much. Exactly. Um. Yeah, I know. For honestly, for me, it's been it's been coming to a realization of my worth. And I think because of that, like, confidence just kind of comes with it. Yeah. Um, I didn't I don't think I ever really, like, dove into knowing my worth until recently. Yeah. And I, I, I lived, you know, my, the life that I lived previously. And I say that now my my capacity for Christ. Oh, no. Just kidding. Yeah. Before ceremony. Mhm. Remember, the life that I lived then was uh. And I didn't even know. Mhm. It was unconsciously like I didn't even know. Like I didn't know what my worth was. Yeah. You know, I was just obviously living my day to day working and surviving and partying on the weekends. Mhm. And I didn't even think about like oh I don't know my worth or I don't know. Right. Yeah. I didn't even think of those things. I think it's just like, you know, living in a numbness kind of way. And I didn't even think about it until recently. I started diving into that. Or it's just come up for me, like knowing my worth and knowing. Because I grew up, I grew up in a I feel like I grew up in an environment that portrayed being quiet, and so that portrayed being quiet as well. Like, don't take up any noise, like don't, don't make any noise. They don't take up any space in this world. Pretty much. Yeah. Uh, which is crazy. Yeah. So nobody can say so. No, this is not like. Keep your head down and just fucking work and do your thing. Like, don't mess with nobody like that. I grew up in an environment. I feel that that was that way. Um, like, don't say anything. Whatever. Yeah. Um, and so I think because of that, I was, I was, like, subconsciously programmed to don't take up any space. And when, when you feel that way, you feel like you're unworthy of taking up space. So when you are given an opportunity to do something big, or if you do want to follow your dreams, you kind of like hesitate to do so. Mhm. Because you feel like you're going to take up space. And I was, I was programmed to, to not take up space. Yeah. And I think that's why it's taken me so long to actually follow a passion of mine. Yeah. Because I was raised to not take up any space. And therefore I didn't feel worthy of having something that I wanted. And I just lived life from somebody or from what I thought other people wanted from me. Mhm. And that's where I feel like my confidence. That's why I say that my confidence is kind of tricky because. I never really thought about it. And just like I didn't think about, like, my worth and kind of put it all together. And just recently is when I put it all together. Yeah. Like. Holy shit. I was raised not taking up space. Therefore, I don't think I'm worthy of this life. Yeah, that I want. I'm like, well, fuck that shit. I am worthy of whatever life I want. Yeah, I could live life in my own terms. What the fuck was that? And when when I was, when I became aware of it and like, you know, trance transformed it into. I'm fucking worthy of it. I'm worthy of it all. Mm. Um, I mean, that I feel like in just doing that, it boosted up my confidence. It does? Yeah. Just a simple awareness of it. Yeah. And that also like what you're saying not only gives you that unworthiness wound, but it also affects the way you dress. It affects the way you speak. It affects the way you interact with people, like it affects a lot of things of your being a person. Not just like, oh, let me not take up space. And yeah, like wearing all black all the time because I don't want to be seen. Yeah. Because that's also another thing. Yeah. Is like unconsciously it's like you don't want to be seen or noticed. Yeah. You don't want to make the noise, you don't want to blah, blah, blah. Like it's all of these things are like, correlated together. And it's all because it came from like, uh, environment that it's like, shut up. Yeah, don't do anything that's going to cause any right issues or whatever is they, um, you know, don't be loud. Yeah. And you know what? You know, what's crazy is that I remember I remember when I was little, like, maybe five, six, you know, like six, seven, eight, like nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14. Yeah. Like during that time. During that time before. When I was still a kid. Yeah, right. When? When I was still a kid. I remember that I was loud, and I was. I was a light. Like I would sing in front of everybody. I would perform because I did, like, folklorico and dancing like I was a performer. And I remember being that. And then obviously, when did it change? When I turned, I think after it turned 15 and, you know, like you were like I was going through stuff like my teenage life. My little cousin passed away. I think that's when I just lost. Yeah. Like all the but I think it was a combination of like the grieving. Plus you're in an adolescent going through changes and not just like like, yeah, like the worlds. Um, but before that, like, you could ask my, like, I was, I had Nancy, right? Laura. The Ricky Martin. Yeah. Like hell yeah. I would start fucking Shakira. I would start singing in front of everybody. And I loved it. Yeah, and I enjoyed it. You loved the attention. I loved it. Yeah, I loved the attention. I loved people like looking at people, like, smiling and, like, whatever, clapping and stuff. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. And then that all just went away because of life. Yeah. And because of that. But, I mean, like, a combination of things, right? Like, um, at that point, like the not taking up space and just, like, thinking you're unworthy of being whatever you want to be. Yeah. Um, all of those things in the combination, like, is is what what happened? It happens. And obviously it's supposed to happen as it did, as it does. And Hannah, I wish. I had and I'm just kidding, you know. But like, our support system didn't know better. Yeah. You know. I'm so grateful for it, though, because. Yeah, like you said, it all happens the way it's supposed to. And I'm so grateful for where I am now. Yeah. And knowing my worth. Knowing the life I want to live and being passionate about it. And I feel those things is what automatically just gives me the confidence. Yeah. To be who I am and be who I want to be like and be aligned with who like, truly who I am. Yeah. And be just authentic. in this world. Yeah. You know, not having to hide or whatever. Like I'm truly embodied. Like I told you today, I shared with you. Like, this moment is the first time in my life. And this moment is the first time in my life that I feel I know what I want, and I feel like I know what I want, and I'm working towards it, and I know the life I want to live, and I know the life that who I am and what I am. And this is the first time ever in my life that I've been completely embodied and aligned with, with myself, which is which is crazy and amazing at the same time. Yeah, yeah, you've actually reached that. So many people never reach it in their life. Yeah. They just moved through this world like a zombie, pretty much. Yeah. Um, and but everybody has their own journey on this planet. So the journey, the life that you are living is exactly where you need to be at right now. So true. Yeah. So true. And honestly, if you if you haven't taken the time, I feel like to dive deep into those things. Like for example, if there is something that you are passionate about and something that you love to do, but you haven't gone full force towards it. That's something to think about. You know, like why? Why haven't you gone full force? Are you scared about what people are gonna say about you? Or do you feel unworthy of that? Do you think it's not gonna work out? Like, those are questions that you want to ask yourself because you have to be doing what you love. Yeah. Like, I personally believe that we're here, experiencing this life. Following that, we have to follow what our passion is, and that's how we have a full blown life experience. And yes, we have a lot of things working against that. We have our society and the system that they've created to keep us down, to keep us enslaved, to have to work a job so we can pay our shit. Mhm. And they keep adding on to that. Yeah. There's just more bills after, more bills after more shit that we have to pay for. Yeah. And they keep adding on to that and it's understandable. Like it's obviously a hard thing to do. But I promise you there's every, there's so many people that you could look up to that have follow their passion and it's worked out for them. Yeah. And you are you have to ask yourself these questions because you I mean, it's only fair for you to have a beautiful life experience and do do the things that you want to do. You are worthy of that. You are worthy of having and doing everything that you want to be doing. And it's. It's I mean, it's just in, like, you just have to do the work. Yeah. First pursuing your passion. Many people don't realize this, but pursuing your passion is a truly spiritual experience in the sense of it, actually. It meets you where you're at, and it won't go any further unless you pretty much upgrade yourself. And yeah, that's what you're saying is. Yeah. Um, it, it do the work, you know, go inward. Yeah. On the way to everything that's in there. So many people avoid what's inside because they know there's a lot and they don't know how to hold it. They don't know how to release it. They're scared to release it. They're scared to relive the experiences and the moments that may come up and. But the moment that you do allow yourself to do that is the moment you begin to open yourself up to the newness that life has to bring you to the opportunities that are waiting at the door for you. But we have to start by allowing ourselves to release some of the old stuff. We cannot make space for the new things. That's why I say that pursuing your past, your passion, is a spiritual thing, because it requires that you let go of so many things that you're carrying, like unworthiness, the lack of confidence, the lack of, or the very low self-esteem. Like it requires that you let go of a lot of those things in order for it to progress. And in order for that passion to grow into whatever it is this world needs. Yeah. And and I want to remind whoever's listening to this that you pursuing what you really want to do is the art that you have to bring to this world. Artists that share their music, that share their drawings, that share their paintings. That is the art that they are bringing forth into this world. Because their perspective, their words or lyrics may land on the heart of one person that maybe was suicidal, and they needed to hear that. And now that changed their life. And they're still here with us, right? Do you actually following through? As it doing what excites you is the magic and the art that you have to bring to this world, so-called do it because somebody out there is waiting for your magic, for your voice, for your presence, and only you can bring that to them. Yeah, that's that's sad. That's sad. Once again, guys, thank you for listening. If you gain something or feel inclined to share this episode, please do so. 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